So I got bored of womanizing for the preceding thirty minutes, and decided to go back to the institution. I was, of course, huge among the ladies, and to the majority of the guys, who weren't hopeless romantics, I was a legend. So everyday I went to school, I got respect out of everyone who mattered. And when I didn't go to school, I got high, fucked women, then kicked them out of my house. Good times... good times.
Anyway, I was on my way to class, and then I realized that I missed class, again.I was about to turn around, when I saw someone I didn't really talk to before. I knew he was an epic, and that's about it, I didn't even know the guys name. So I shrugged and figured why not, and went up to him.
"Sup?" I said smoothly.
"How's it going Joseph?"
"Not too bad...." It took me a couple seconds before I realized it. "How do you know my name?"
"You dated.... a lot of my friends."
"Like who?" He goes on for about five minutes without hesitating once. I only recognized a handful of the names, but I got the point. "Okay, I get the point. I dated.."
"... slept with a hell of a lot of your friends, but on the bright side, I'm sure they think of it as a learning experience."
"How could they possibly think of this as a learning experience?" He gave me an angry look.
"Well some of the things I did in bed-"
"Don't finish that sentence!" He interrupted. This conversation isn't going too well.
"Hey man, I'm just doing my duty as a dog, being an epic you should know that." He paused for a minute.
"Yeah I guess. I just don't think it's... fair to treat all my friends like this. I mean, teenagers or not, they're still little girls. This is gonna rip them for a long time one way or another. But... I suppose it is your personality."
"There we go! All right we've made peace, this calls for a celebration!" I get out two joints and a lighter, I offer him one. He holds a hand up in denial
"I don't smoke, I'd like to keep my lungs nicotine free thank you very much."
"Haha, oh this ain't a cigarette man. Weed's the way to go in this generation." I light one up and inhale. Then shoot a cloud of funny smelling smoke to my right. " Whatever man, still take it, you might need it one day, in case you're ever depressed, lonely, unhappy, or just want to be really REALLY hungry." I put the other in his dress shirt pocket and made it look like it wasn't there. "There we are, thank me later. anyway, whatcha up to?"
" Heading to the food court, preps and epics are hanging out there, then movie."
"Sweet! I'll join you!" I put my arm around his shoulder.
"I don't think..."
"Man don't worry, I'm not high yet, and they'll be fine with me. However in case there are more than three of my ex's there, it might be awkward for the first... five seconds. Then I'll work my magic."
"Again, It's probably not a good idea..."
"I'll pay for your meal."
"Off we go!" I smiled. Looks like a made a new friend. Wicked. He's a bit of a downer but I off all people could fix that. Fuck, if I wanted to, I could get him laid in less than a minute. But that depends on how generous I'm feeling, so I should wait a bit.