I found Alfie on my doorstep.
"Don't call me that. My name is Magda."
"But earlier on. You said."
I looked him straight in the eyes, fixing his attention. "What happened earlier is never to be talked about ever, ever again. You understand?"
He nodded with a seductive little wink, moving to try to kiss me.
"Get. Off." I shouted, slamming the door to my room behind me.
"But Mags. We work so well together!" He shouted through the wood, not caring about my feelings, just his sexual appetite.
"Get lost. You had your night. Find somewhere else to be."
I threw myself on the bed, half expecting him to kick the door down.
"This isn't right, Magda. You can't just be like that, like you were earlier on, and now so cold. You are so sexy Mags!"
"Yeah, well, I'm not interested in you, Alfie." I blurted out. "I just did it for your sister."
The shouting suddenly stopped and he simply knocked on the door gently until I let him in.
"How did the talk with your sister go?" I asked, changing the subject slightly.
"She didn't take the news well. Then she had to go - she was meeting someone called Beth." His voice was weak, barely there. "Did she ask you to do that?"
"Not in as many words."
I considered explaining everything to him, telling him the whole story. That would only make things worse.
"Alfie, I think you should leave."
He nodded, thanking me for letting him stay and the time that he expected I regretted. When I heard the door shut, I curled up on the bed, crying some more. I had a little nap, waking up about an hour or so later.
I had missed a lot in that hour. Before answering the missed calls on my phone, I looked at my sorry self in the mirror and felt so bad. It was all my fault - I felt so guilty. And that feeling. That horrible uncontrollable feeling. It flooded me again.