I don't write at all, but lately have become interested in creative writing in poetry. I just wrote this story today. I like to express myself or express how other people may be feeling or have felt.
I feel so tired, I feel so drained, I want to shout at the top of my lungs, I want to scream help me! Please someone help! I feel so alone, I’m at breaking point. I want to feel loved. I want to belong. I want to love myself, yet I hate myself. I miss how I used to be. I used to laugh all the time; I used to see such beauty in the world. Being a child, so innocent, so ignorant of the cruel heartless world we live in. I grew up and soon realised the truth of it all. Being laughed at, being made fun of, teased for who I am. I thought we were encouraged to be you, be truly you, without being judged, without being bullied, without being made to feel like your feelings don’t matter and it’s ok to be put down and feel like you don’t matter. I was being me, yet it still wasn’t enough. No matter what, it’s never enough. I hated the person I was because I wasn’t the norm, I wasn’t like everyone else, I was me. Until one day, I realised what’s wrong with being me? Am I bad person? No! Am I different? Yes! So what’s wrong with that? Nothing! Exactly! Nothing! I may not be like everyone else, but I’m me and that’s all I can be. I used to hate me, until I realised I only did because society did. I didn’t dress like everyone else, I didn’t think like everyone else, I didn’t act like everyone else and for that, I was made to feel like I don’t matter, like I shouldn’t exist, that I’m weird and not important. Maybe everyone else is just weird, right? I mean they all try to fit in, afraid to stand out, afraid to not belong. I used to be like that. I wanted to belong so much. Yet I was still being judged, people were still mean to me. Finally I had enough, I became who I wanted to be, and it was hard at first. It can be hard being who you truly are in this heartless world. It was so hard for me, so hard that I got depressed, thought I wasn’t good enough. Until one day I realised me is enough. It’s always been enough; I just didn’t see it before. I was too busy worrying about what everyone else thought, to the point I forgot what being happy was. You see I figured no matter what you do in life, you get judged. You follow the crowd and act like the norm, you’ll be judged regardless. If you be who you truly are, again you’ll be judged regardless. But does it really matter? No! Because at least I’m happy, right? At least I’m being true to myself. At least I’m standing up for myself. At least I’m truly loving myself and trying to be the best person I can be. So instead of feeling so tired, so drained, I now feel so awake, so awake in seeing the beauty in the world. You see it’s all about perception. How do you choose to see the world? A heartless miserable place or place with beauty where you can be truly you and inspire others to do so? What do you choose? I choose happiness. I choose laughter. I choose me.