I may have seen more desolation in the human existence than anywhere else in my rather tragic sixteen years of life- but there is one thing that I do know: the human soul is burning with an unquenchable fire.
Like a candle burning on a window sill in the middle of the night, Hope finds its home in the depths of the darkness, casting shadows on the pain and brightening even the darkest of days. I have watched loved ones wither away into nothing, fight their own bodies until their lungs ceased to allow them to breath, but every moment that I watched, helpless, I saw the fire burning in their eyes. The Hope that tomorrow, things would be easier to handle, and that they would feel less anguish than they had felt the day before.
I watched them- as their hopes fell, were dashed to smithereens- and I watched, like a bad movie, as they continued on their way picking up the shards of their shattered dreams. Hopelessly hoping. They had faith in a better tomorrow and it can't that little candle burning- sometimes as bright as the sun, sometimes as pale as moonlight.
And I realized, after witnessing their battles and fighting a few of my own- grief,depression,suicide, and more, much much more- that Hope is the Eternal Flame. Faith may act as the lighting fluid to the coals of endless hoping, but Hope burns bright on its own.
Then, as that realization hit me like a dodgeball to my soul's face, I had yet another epiphany:
Hope doesn't fade. You can misplace it, feel weary and stop chasing it, but you never fully lose it. Hope is like Love- its existent and non-existent, palpable and intangible. You can think you don't feel it, feign that you have never seen it, but its there- just like the wind and the stars and the changing of the days into months into years-
You can never lose Hope.
Even now, I have to remind myself- no situation is entirely hopeless, if it was, I would have been dead a long time ago. Every battle can be won, or else its a necessary loss to get you some place better. You may find Hope in the arms of religion, be comforted by the rustling folds of faith.Or, like me, you may find Hope in the changing of the days, the seasons taking their first breaths, and the moon in its phases. Music may be your saving grace, writing your source of joy. The thought of another day in a seemingly pitiful existence may feel unbearable, hopeless, and painful at best- but let the Hope residing in the heart of tomorrow get you through each obstacle.
Never lose Hope, never till the day you are dead. xoxo