So I'm handcuffed to a bed with two phones in my hand and no one to let me loose. Who do I call? Annie, who has been so understanding but complicated? Or Helena, who has been less complicated and yet more of a fling. Because I knew I loved them both. In different ways though. Helena was fresh and new, and I could see me being with her for some while because she didn't want anything other than me. But Annie was still the friend I had been with for so long, and I still wanted her. But at the same time, I was starting to wish we were just friends again.
And at quater past ten I knew what I had to do. First, I dialled Annie.
"Annie, you need to come back. I need to talk to you."
"Rosa, did you phone me first?"
"So you choose me?"
"As I said, we need to talk." I hung up then, unwilling to hear anymore. Then I called Helena.
"Helena, I'm so sorry."
"Oh, you're breaking up with me aren't you?"
"I really like you. I really do, it's just I need to start on a clean slate. Come over now, and we'll talk."
Ten minutes later and Annie was back.
"What?" She was leaning on the doorway looking impatient and scared.
"Annie, get me out of these things."
She came over reluctantly and let me loose. I massaged my wrists as I led her in to the living room and made her sit down. Then the doorbell rang. helena entered. Annie stood outraged.
"You called her as well? What kind of a choice is this?"
"Annie, Helena, please sit down." They sat glaring at each other.
"Annie, you are my best friend. We have a lovely house, and beautiful child and so many good times under the belt. Helena, I haven't known you for long but when I'm with you, I can always feel what it is like to be together, and you make me feel new and fresh. I love you both, but it isn't fair to either of you to keep going between you. Our open relationship isn't going to work Annie. You know it, I know it. And I can't commit. I know I have a problem. So I am going to move away from both of you to sort myself out. And then when I come back, I will be able to commit to one person." They both stood.
"Rosa, are you nuts?" Annie whispered, shocked and upset. "You can't just leave."
"I have to." I kissed her forehead, then kissed Helena's. "I'm so sorry but I can't do this to you both. I'll be back when I've changed. Goodbye." I ran out of the door leaving the girls stunned behind me. I jumped in to my car and reversed down the drive and away in to the night. I knew exactly where I was going. Maxxie's house.