As promised, I went straight home and climbed into bed, not bothering to take off my clothes. The whole fiasco with meeting my mum played out in my head as I curled up, pulling the duvet tight around me. I sighed to myself, wondering if I should feel bad about it, or if I should just forget it and refuse to go to lunch tomorrow.
As I was debating this, I fell asleep at some point, because debating turned into practically begging Cayden not to make me go because of course, my mum would surely bring my dad and he would somehow like Cayden and they'd all start bitching about me. It felt all too real until I realised that, as I looked up at one of the guys from the year above me in an attempted glare of defiance, it was in fact a dream, and that - lucky me - I would get to go through the whole pleading with Cayden part all over again when I woke up.
Unfortunately, realising it was a dream didn't stop it, and I watched listlessly as the contents of my school bag were thrown across the road, barely responding as I was pushed to my knees and listened through bursts of laughter as one of the guys asked how good did they reckon I was at sucking cock. The answer is they never found out, because this is the part where usually Alex would step in and beat the shit out of them.
But this time, a skinny figure in a plaid shirt and girl's jeans was the one walking over with a distinctly pissed off look in his grey eyes.
The memory-dream stopped soon after that, and when I wake up, I realise why - Cayden had joined me in bed, probably at part where he walked into my dream. Unfortunately when I wake up, I realise that I've got handfuls of Cay's shirt clenched tightly in my hands, and probably have since he got into bed. I let go, surprised at myself.
When I let go of the material, Cay's face twitches slightly, as if he's noticed me let go of him, but he doesn't really wake up. Saying nothing, I exhale heavily, sitting up to rub my eyes. He shifts a little and I look down, seeing a small frown crease his features as he opens his eyes.
"Sorry. Go back to sleep," I mutter, blinking into the semi darkness. I glance over at the street light filtering through the curtains and sigh quietly. It can't be much later than one or two in the morning. Cay half sits up so he's slouching.
"I wasn't sleeping. Not really," he tells me in this tired voice that says otherwise.
"You should sleep, Cay," I say quietly, "you'll make yourself ill."
"M'not tired," he mumbles and I roll my eyes even though he can't see. Leaning over, I kiss him, gently pushing him back down.
"I'll be back in a minute," I promise, pulling back up and swinging my legs over the edge of the bed. He tilts his head to one side slightly, looking at me curiously. "I just need to pee. I'll be back in a minute." He nods and smiles, muttering an "okay" as I get up and walk out of the room.
I'm probably taking more than a minute, I realise as I squint at my reflection in the mirror, asking myself why I'm so scared of nothing. Your dad won't be there, it'll just be you, Cayden and your mum. What's so worrying about that? Well, my mum could start ranting about how I was a total failure at everything and still am, Cayden could get all pissy with me for not having anything to say to her, I could end up making the whole situation fifty times worse, just by not knowing what to say. Oh yeah. Totally unreasonable to be worried about this stupid fucking lunch later on.
Cayden's footsteps down the landing pulls me out of my thoughts abruptly the frown lifts off my face as he walks into the bathroom. He smiles at me.
"I know you're hot but you don't need to stare." I turn away from the mirror and lean back on the sink to look at him.
"What's up?" He asks and I just shrug.
"Nothing," I mutter. He frowns at me and says nothing. With a sigh, I step away from the sink. "C'mon. Let's go back to bed. I didn't mean to wake you up."