Great, so I have two options: stay and upset Maxxie because he thinks he’s being selfish or go early and upset him because he would’ve lost however many days we had left here. I repositioned my cheek on the window and stayed silent. I know it was childish giving the decision the silent treatment but hey, I’m allowed to be childish every now and then.
"I guess I'll leave you to think on it overnight..." he shrugged, grip on the steering wheel still too tight.
The tension in the car was brutal. Maxxie didn’t know what to say and I didn’t want to say anything. I was perfectly happy sat in my little silent world. It was a welcome change from the usual hubbub of noise that bombarded me on a daily basis regardless of where I was and who I was with. I stayed silent until we got back to Maxxie’s, and even then it was just to inform him of the fact that I wasn’t tired.
“There's no chance I'm sleeping..."
"Oh... right, okay."
I sat down on the couch, well aware that little half frowns were creeping onto my face every few seconds. Maxxie sat at the end of the couch, hugging his knees to his chest with his chin resting on his knees. His eyes were focused on a spot in front of him but he wasn’t really looking at anything.
"...Max, I... We're gonna get over this, right?" I asked quietly, almost wishing he wouldn’t hear.
He nodded. "I hope so. I didn't mean to be a bastard - I'm sorry,"
I let out a breathy laugh. Was he really apologizing when it was me that started all this? "It should be me that's sorry, I went behind your back..."
He shifted slightly but didn’t move any closer to me. "It's okay."
"Thing is, I'm not sorry..."
He shrugged. "It's not your fault, I was digging my heels in and I should have seen it coming."
"Your mom misses you. Like really misses you"
"D'you want me to go see her?" he asked with a sigh.
"It's not up to me"
"But you want me to."
"I'm not forcing you to, though"
He nodded and paused for a moment, thinking. "Will you come with me?"
"If you want me to..."
"We can see those photos while we're there," he said, giving me a weak smile.
I mirrored the smile back at him, equally as weak and equally as strained. He released the hold on his legs and hesitantly shuffled over to me, wrapping me in a hug. I tensed a little. Something just didn’t seem right. Maybe it was just me making a big deal out of nothing but I just… I don’t know, I felt like Maxxie should still be mad at me or something. Maxxie seemed to notice me tensing up and I felt myself instinctively bite my lip. I let my muscles relax and leant my head against his shoulder, still feeling like something wasn’t quite right. Maxxie relaxed a little, though, so apparently he didn’t feel the same.
"Why... What made you come get me from the cops? I mean, I'd been an ass to you and practically started a street riot... They were ready to keep me in overnight"
"I missed you. I wanted to apologise for being a bitch."
He missed me? I thought he was supposed to be angry at me? I mean, it’s not like we haven’t argued before and spent the night away from each other. To say I was confused would be an understatement. He should’ve been mad at me, I went to his parent’s place after all but instead he missed me? I’m sorry but what the fuck? Great, now being confused is getting me all pissed again. Alright Cayden, just calm down. You’re getting worked up over nothing, just calm down. Seriously? He missed me? What kind of lame ass excuse is that?
I tensed up again, feeling my blood start to heat up. Shit, why am I getting so pissed off over this? Cayden, seriously just calm down. Maxxie can tell something’s up just calm down. Shit, why was none of this working? I even pictured Brent telling me to calm down. Mom and Dad telling me to calm down. John telling me to calm down. Hadley telling me to calm down but every ounce of my being just wanted to yell at them that I was fucking calm. Which would obviously give away the fact that I wasn’t but still.
“Cay, are you alright?” Maxxie’s quiet voice broke through the noise of it all and I looked at him, his green eyes spilling over with concern.
“Huh?” I asked, desperately biting back my irritation.
“You’ve been frowning and twitching for the last twenty minutes. Are you okay?”
I couldn’t answer him. Was I okay? I really didn’t know.