Cayden: Talking About The PastMature

I lay back against the roof, my legs still hanging over the edge and a content smile splayed on my lips. I looked up and started drawing random shapes on Maxxie’s back. For some unknown reason I felt the urge to spew random facts about my past, something I’d never done and never intended to do. The less people know about me the better. Not to mention I’m one of those “I’ll tell you something if you tell me something” kinds of people and I always manage to draw attention to what the other person had said and never reveal anything about myself. But with Maxxie it was different somehow. Sure I’d make him go first but I had a feeling this time I’d end up saying something about myself. Maxxie shifted a little, I guess I was tickling his back.

“Max, was…was… Who was your first boyfriend?” I asked cautiously, ready to drop the subject if he didn’t want to say.

He turned to look at me. "Guy called Zack... why?"

I bit my lip. That was better that I was expecting. In all honesty I’d mentally prepared myself for him to say Alex. "Was just wondering... How old were you?"

"Fifteen. It didn't last long, guys in sixth form found out about it and bullied the fuck out of us both for the rest of our school lives," he shrugged casually like it was nothing.

"Wow, English kids are bitches"

"We lived in a really conservative area. I don't blame them for how they were raised - it's the parents I resent."

I smiled, not really understanding. "I'm gonna pretend I know what conservative is"

He laughed slightly and I couldn’t help but feel a little embarrassed. "Stuck up will do as a definition. Or repressed."

"Oh, kinda like jocks? But like jocks in suits?"

"I guess, yeah. The kind of people that if they get into power they put the most LGBT phobic person they can find in charge of equality. That was when I got the fuck outta there," he said with a weak smile.

"So you came here instead?" I laughed, "Should've gone to Mexico, nobody'd judge you there"

"It appealed more than Mexico," he laughed as well, that beautiful musical sound, "I dunno. I let Alex choose where to go. He knew someone who would get me a job. Been working in the same cafe since I got here... what about you? Why'd you come here?"

"No idea. One day when I was about twelve my parents just thought "hey, let's move to Hollywood". So here I am, still 100% Australian but with a freaky half and half accent"

He smiled. "It's not freaky, I like it. It's better than an English accent that refuses to go."

"A lot of Americans find English accents sexy, y'know?"

"It doesn't seem to do it for many people in Hollywood," he laughed again, "but I'll take your word for it."

I sat up at that point, willing to take the plunge and just go for it. "I'm about to do something very stupid that I'll probably regret for the next couple hours”

He  flashed me a questioning look.

"I'm... I'm gonna tell you something... Something about my past. Which I've kind of never done before” I said, rubbing the back of my neck nervously.

 "I won't tell anyone” he smiled softly.

Deep breath, Cayden, deep breath. "Alright, first boyfriend. I was fifteen, same as you. His name was John... John Ocala. Like the city out in Florida. Um... He was my best friend since like forever and we always did everything together. Then he decided after a couple years that "actually, I am going to be a good Catholic for once" and ended it. Never spoke to me again. And the weird thing is, as much as I should hate him, I still miss him. ...Yeah"

He flashed me a half smile. "It's better than hating him."

"I guess... He's got a wife now. She had a baby the other day. Hell, she talks to me more than him"

"Wow. That can't be fun."

"Nah, I'm kinda used to it. Everyone from back in then kind of left me anyway"

He kissed me gently, almost as if he was holding back but not on purpose. "I promise not to go, for what it's worth."

I smiled. "Good to know. And I swear I'm not leaving you either. Unless I get offered an all expenses paid trip to Australia for one, then I'm ditching your ass faster than you can say "g'day"" I said with a laugh, realising at the last second that he could take it completely the wrong way.

"I'll follow you out there," he winked.

"You stalker" I kissed him, more purposefully than he’d kissed me.

"I prefer avid admirer. Stalker makes me sound bad."

"Well then, my avid admirer, d'you wanna head back inside?"

"Do you?"

I shook my head. So far this was beating the only other sunrise I’d ever witnessed and I wanted it to stretch on for as long as possible.

"Then we'll stay here," he smiled and hugged me carefully.

Fuck you bruised ribs, I thought and hugged Maxxie back tighter.

The End

576 comments about this exercise Feed