Cay watched the first part of the sunrise in total silence, his slate eyes clouded over with thought. I didn't want to disturb him, so I left him to his thoughts, ignoring my own whizzing around inside my head like angry wasps.
In fact, I stayed like this until I couldn't really wait any longer for a cigarette, and eventually asked cay if he minded. When I lit up, he looked like he was resisting the urge to grimace at the smell, and to be honest, so was I. I didn't really want a smoke, but as with the times before when I've started and stopped again, I felt more like my head was going to explode if I didn't.
And then suddenly he's kissing me, pulling me up and taking me over to the ledge. He sits on it and hesitating a little, I take a last drag on the cigarette before flicking it away into the street, joining him where he's plonked himself. My arm finds its way around his waist and I lean into him a little, kissing him again softly.
"You okay?" I ask quietly, more wondering aloud than deliberately posing the question to him, but still. I s'pose it wouldn't hurt to ask him. He's been real quiet for a while; I'm not used to it.
But he sighs happily and answers in a pretty content voice: "Yeah. Y'know, this is the first sunrise I've seen in eight years?"
"Really? How comes?" I wonder out loud again, trying not to ask him if he's a vampire or something and has been hiding from them on purpose. And then at that thought, I try not to laugh.
"Memories, I guess," he says with a slight shrug and I nod, resisting the urge to ask which ones. Yes, I might want to know him better, but I'm not going to pry; it's up to him to volunteer that kind of information.
"Mmm... This is only my second memory of note in a sunrise," I smile slightly. The first being camping with my granddad when I was about six or seven. Nearly twenty years ago. Suddenly, I feel rather old. Cay doesn't ask about it, instead smiling back at me. I groan slightly, though in an ‘oh fuck' kinda way. When did twenty years pass me by?
"What's up?" Cay asks, his smile dropping into a concerned frown. I push my face into his shoulder and whine:
"I'm old!" after a second, I look back up into the sunrise and sigh, "my last significant memory of a sunrise was nearly twenty years ago. When did that happen?"
"You're not old, you big softie. Besides, you're only two years older than me so that must make us both senior citizens," he winks and I reply with a scowl.
"I refuse to be an old guy," I say with a childish stubbornness, "and twenty five is a whole quarter of a century. It is old."
"Jeez, what am I gonna do when you hit forty?" he laughs and my face falls, though I can't help the inward grin as he implies he's gonna be hanging around for the next fifteen years.
"Buy me a gym membership," I say, giving a slight giggle.
"The rate you're smoking those you'll be passed out after five minutes at the gym," he says with a slight smile.
"Mmm. I'll get some nicotine patches later. They worked the last three times," I mutter, laughing properly this time.
"Three? Damn, you're hooked."
"Blame peer pressure. I started when I was thirteen," I sigh, squinting into the sun rising up above the horizon, "trust me when I say I've always been a bit of an idiot." A bit of an idiot? Understatement of the century, perhaps.