I get back to Cayden's late, barely aware of the time, only that it's real dark and I've had probably a few too many to be driving anywhere. I open the door quietly, letting myself in, in a fashion I thought was near silent. But maybe that was the alcohol fuzzing up my ears so I couldn't hear how much noise I was making.
I certainly wasn't expecting to be attacked with kisses and hugs when I got back. I was expecting him to be asleep.
"Where've you been? I've been freaking out all day," he asks, kissing me some more. I'm barely through the door, or awake enough to kiss back. In fact, I wasn't even sure if I wanted to.
That's not right, is it. I'm s'posed to want to kiss my boyfriend. I'm s'posed to be the clingy, huggy, kissy, affectionate one. But here I am, hardly reacting to his full on ‘I missed you and I'm making up for lost time' thing.
"I... went to work. What's wrong, you okay?" Well it's not an entire lie. I just missed out the part where Alex met me this morning and where I went to a bar before coming back here.
"Yeah, I just... Ah, it was just me being stupid. I was convinced you weren't coming back." I nod slightly, and move over to the sofa, and he follows like a lost puppy that's just been reunited with its owner.
"I meant to leave a note, sorry," I mutter as I flop into the cushions, sighing. He sits with me, and after a moment's hesitation, I lean carefully against him, closing my eyes.
"Didn't know they made you work so late," he says and I hum slightly, though I don't have an answer for it. "Things been busy today?" I hear the smile in his voice and my god, I've never wanted so badly to not see someone smile. I keep my eyes firmly closed and nod slightly.
"Yeah, I guess. I was only s'posed to have one shift, but Damien was off sick, so I had to cover for him at last notice. I should've called, really." The lie drips off my tongue too easily and I can't help but grimace at its sour aftertaste. I can already tell this is all gonna come back around and kick me in the ass later on, but I can't bear to accuse him of lying. It's easier to yell at Alex for stuff, ‘cause of what he did, even if his face after makes me feel like I'm the worst person in the world.
But Cay's not really done much wrong. The only thing he can be accused of is jealousy and getting too drunk to remember what really happened.
"It's okay, chances are you would've called when I was asleep," he chirps, kissing my cheek.
"Yeah... how was your day? Apart from freaking out that I wouldn't come back." The idiot. Though... I can't say I blame him. I nearly didn't come back. At least, I was tempted to leave it a day or two and see how it worked out. But I couldn't spend any more time on my own; I was beginning to do my own head in.
"Well, I went back to work" I open my eyes and look up as he grins like it's some amazing achievement to be proud of, "And that was it mainly. Wow, I have such an exciting life, huh?"
"Mmm. We both went to work. What a fun packed day we both had!" I murmured flatly, no enthusiasm behind my voice at all.
"Are you okay? You sound a little...weird." I half nod and close my eyes again, half heartedly putting my arms around him.
"Just tired," I lie again. Why does my mouth keep doing that? Letting me lie, I mean. It's s'posed to stop me from doing that.
"You can head to bed if you want. I've only just woken up so I'll be here for hours just staring at space," he laughs, the sound reverberating in his chest warmly.
"No, it's okay... I haven't seen you all day," I mumble, staying exactly where I am and trying to enjoy it the way I usually do. But it just feels... I dunno. Empty, not knowing if I can trust him or not.