I felt a crushing pain in my heart. The nurse rushed in and gave me pain killers. How the hell can that help the pain I'm feeling?
I don't even know if I can stand up with all the confusion inside my head. Meeting someone.... did she really mean a friend or a..... No, she wouldn't..... Would she?
I don't know who I am anymore never mind other people. When the let me I stumble out of the hospital.... well, I make sure I'm walking okay enough to get out. I flag down a cab and ask if he can drop me off just a little bit before the italien.
And when I get out..... I see her there. Sitting and laughing at a table with... Cassy then a girl I don't know. One who is trailing her fingers over the back of one of Rosalita's hands. I put a hand over my mouth and jump back in the cab.
I give the address back to the apartment. I jump out once we get there and rush into the house. I go straight to my room and drag my suitcase out of my wardrobe. I should have done this a while ago. I should have known one of us wouldn't be able to hold down a stable relationship.
I stuff everything into my suitcase. Clothes, Essentials, Laptop, Work stuff, etc. Oh god, I need to write a letter I drag my bag to the front door then walk into the kitchen. I grab a pen and a sticky note then write my short letter.
I know I should have stayed around to prove myself to get you back. Thing is..... I don't think I can wait around and watch you flirt with other girls until I do that. Its not your fault I'm leaving. I'm going to stay with Gary... A little bit out of town. Far enough to not bump into you. You don't have to worry about him either you know how Gary is. Bisexual but prefering men.
I'm so so sorry I'm doing this. Crap, A tear just slipped onto the page a blurred a few of the words slightly. God, I can't even hold it together when I know this is best.
Two things you need to know. One, I love you... always have and I need you to know that even though I discust you. Two.... I think I might get an abortion in about a week. I can't keep this baby.... not without you.
I put the pen down and rush outside. I flag down and cab and bundle into it and leave heading to Gary's house just outside Hollywood.