Having and Lily and Danny finally home with us was... It was just amazing. We let them get settled in before taking them out to buy things and I was determined not to spoil them. I may have failed in that a tiny bit but what can I say? I wanted the best for them. And I wanted them to have the best.
Needless to say Danny was pleased with the Xbox, and even more pleased with the Kinect, which I’d insisted on getting just because it meant possibly seeing Maxxie jumping around and being an idiot. Danny took to it like a duck to water, and he almost seemed like a different kid when he was using it. It’d taken a while but we’d got him to open up a little more, though he definitely seemed to prefer me to Maxxie.
About a month after we’d adopted the kids, I’d neglected to tell Maxxie I was finishing early so I could pick Danny and Lily up from Kindergarten. I’d just stepped in the front door, expecting to find Maxxie busy filling out paperwork of some kind. Instead what I was met with was the sight of my husband and brother completely naked. Cayden had Maxxie pinned against the wall, and moans dripped off my husband’s lips as Cayden fucked him. I couldn’t do anything but stare. Neither of them had even noticed me. Maxxie let out another moan, shifting slightly. Yeah, he noticed me then. He sort of tried to get away from Cayden, who still hadn’t noticed me.
“What?” he asked Maxxie.
Maxxie ignored him. “Hadley, I’m so sorry”
Cayden looked round, confused and froze when he saw me. “Shit”
Maxxie bit his lip and I just kept staring.
“I’m guessing I should go, then” Cayden said, getting dressed quickly and making a hasty exit.
“I’m sorry” Maxxie said quietly.
He opened his mouth to say something but changed his mind, getting dressed. I drifted over to the couch, flopping down on it and staring at the blank TV screen. I heard Maxxie get his keys and wallet.
“I’m really, really sorry, Hadley”
“I said get out”
He did so and I felt the tears start to fall. How could he do it to me again? Especially with my own brother? I’d forgiven him the first time he’d cheated on me because I’d been convinced it was somehow my fault, but this... This was in no way my fault. I spent the hour and a half before the kids finished Kindergarten crying my eyes out and trying to figure out why he’d done it.
I wiped my eyes, just about managing to stop crying when it was time to go pick up the kids. Maxxie was sat on the curb, staring at the road when I walked out of the house. I ignored him, heading for my car but he stood up, calling my name. I stopped but didn’t say anything.
"I really am sorry, Hadley. I love you, but I'm just shit at being a good husband. If you want, I can stay in a hotel for a while, or something"
I didn’t say anything for a while. "Why?"
He shrugged a little. "I just missed the sex with him. It's nothing more than that"
"Is that supposed to make it okay?"
I didn’t say anything for a while again. "I'm going to get the kids"
Maxxie bit his lip. "Do you want me to stay somewhere else?"
"I don't care" I said, getting in the car and driving off.
Lily happily told me all the things they’d been getting up in Kindergarten, and Danny occasionally added something but we’d gotten used to him being quiet now. I helped the two of them out of the car, seeing Maxxie sat in his own car drinking.
“Why is Daddy in his car?” Lily asked.
“We’re not talking to Daddy right now, sweetie” I said, taking them inside.
I heard Maxxie get out of the car and I sent the kids to their room when he followed us inside.
“I wanted to say goodbye to them” he said, scowling a little, tipsy.
“They don’t need to be involved in this”
"I'm gonna go away, Bunny, so I can sort myself out. I wanna be a better husband for you. If you even still want me anymore. I won't blame you if you don't" he said, slurring ever so slightly.
"Go away where?"
“I dunno. I didn’t think that far ahead”
I didn’t say anything to that. All that would’ve come out would be a bitter, sarcastic comment.
"What d'you think? Would you take me back if I got better?"
"I don't know, Maxxie"
He drank some more of whatever it was he was drinking. "I love you, Hadley. I'm such a shit person. Fuck. "I'll do anything you want, Hadley, please"
"How do I know you won't cheat on me again? You said you wouldn't last time it happened, yet here we are"
Tears tugged at the corners of his eyes. "I know. I dunno what happened. Well, I do. I fucked up"
"So how do I know you won't fuck up again? I can't keep doing this, Maxxie"
“I don’t know”
The two of us were quiet and I felt myself getting the tiniest bit mad.
“Why him? I mean, what’s so great about him that you felt the need to fuck him so bad?”
"He knows how to dominate me. I... I dunno, Hadley. I mean, topping is great and all, but it's never the same"
My jaw clenched at that and Maxxie’s gaze fell to the floor.
"I'm sorry. I'm just making this worse. Tell the kids I've gone on a business trip or something, yeah?" he said quietly. “I love you, Bunny” he said, crying.
“He’s still single, right?” I asked as Maxxie was leaving.
He turned round, looking at me. “I think so. Why?”
“You might as well go back to him. You’re fucking made for each other”
“No” he said, still crying.
I didn’t say anything, steadily getting more pissed off.
"It's you I love, Hadley. I already told you I'll do anything for you to forgive me"
"It's me you love but it's him you can't wait to fuck? Wow, that makes me feel so fucking special"
"I said I'm sorry, okay? I'm not perfect, but I already told you I wanna be better for you. It's not like I can go back in time and tell myself not to be such a fucking cock up" he said kinda loudly. I didn’t say anything. “I want you, Hadley, and I want not to be a fuck up”
He drank some more as I stayed silent, realising for the first time that Danny and Lily probably heard every word of that.
“I think you should go”
He apologised a few more times, crying his eyes out.
“Maxxie, please, just go”
He left, then, and I heard him drive off after a while. I headed for Danny and Lily’s room, smiling a little as I saw them quietly playing a board game together. Lily looked up, smiling at me, and Danny greeted me in his usual starey way. I sat down with the two of them, fighting back tears. I didn’t fight very well.
“Papa, why are you crying?” Lily asked and Danny tilted his head to one side a little.
“Daddy’s had to go away for a while on a business trip”
“Do you miss him already?”
“Yeah” I said, pulling them into a hug.
If I’m honest, I think I missed the man he used to be more.