I didn’t really get very much sleep. All I could think about was seeing Hadley with that nurse. Which in turn made me feel bad, because Cayden really should’ve been on my mind. When I managed to get to sleep, I ended up dreaming about me and Hadley arguing and ending up like John and Cay, and woke up on my own in a cold sweat. Hadley had fallen asleep on the sofa. I saw him like that when I went to get a drink. I put a blanket over him and sat with him for a few minutes. I couldn’t help feeling like everything was going wrong, and it was all my fault for not being able to keep my dick in my pants. He deserved better than that, and I had been too selfish to see it at the time.
It became clear after waking up for the seventh time in two hours that I wasn’t going to get any sleep, so I sat downstairs at the breakfast bar, waiting for him to wake up. I didn’t have that long to wait, as it turned out. It was still dark outside when he woke up. I’d been watching out for the sunrise, but hearing Hadley stirring had distracted me. The poor guy jumped a little when he noticed me.
I smiled a little at him through the darkness, feeling glad when he returned it with an equally small smile.
“I was thinking we could go and watch the sunrise,” I said, looking back out of the window.
“We don’t have to. It was just a thought.”
"I don't mind," he said, giving me another tiny smile.
“I’m sorry I was acting weird last night. I didn’t mean to upset you.”
“It’s okay,” he replied, but I kind of got the feeling that it wasn’t really okay at all. A silence fell between us, and I let out a quiet sigh, putting my head down on the bar. I was too tired for this. I didn’t know what to say or do, and I just wanted to make things right. But... I still couldn’t get it out of my head that he might be getting bored of me. “Maxxie?” I turned my head on the surface to face him. "What's wrong?"
“Who was that nurse? When I came to see you at work...” There wasn’t really any point in holding it back any more. I didn’t want us to end up fighting over this. I just needed to know.
"Eden. She's new."
“You had your arm around her.”
“Are you getting bored of being with me?”
"What? Of course not. Why?"
“I just... I dunno. It looked like you were more than friends, and I panicked.”
"I had my arm around her because we were friends in med school, silly," he smiled.
“I feel like I’m doing something wrong. Like ever since I fucked up I haven’t been able to do anything right, and I just keep fucking up somehow.”
He arched an eyebrow. "What makes you think that?"
“I don’t know. I think I’m just panicking, but I really don’t wanna lose you.”
"I'm not planning on leaving you any time soon,” he told me, chuckling a little. I turned my head back so I was looking out of the window again.
“Like I said, I was panicking, and being paranoid.” He walked over and snuggled me from behind. I turned on the stool to face him and rested my head on his chest, hugging back kinda tight. “I love you.”
"I love you too, gorgeous."
“I’m so sorry for all the shit recently. I didn’t mean to fuck up so badly.”
“It’s okay,” he told me, cuddling me more. I nuzzled his chest, beginning to feel all the tension leaving me. I looked up at him.
“I have no idea how you put up with me,” I smiled a little, “and I don’t think you’ll ever stop amazing me like that.” He planted a kiss on my nose.
"I put up with you because I love you."
“I love you too. So fucking much,” I squeezed him gently.
"Try not to break any ribs there, gorgeous," he laughed a little. I loosened my grip on him slightly.
“I wanna go up on the roof and watch the sun with you,” I murmured, “and spend the day with you. I feel like I’ve neglected you lately.” He buried his head in my neck and I kissed the top of it. “I don’t want you to skip work just for me, though. That wouldn’t be fair.”
"I don't mind, gorgeous,” he smiled. I hummed and stood up.
“Let’s start with breakfast watching the sunrise from the roof, yeah?”