I wasn't sure how to feel. I was unbelievably relieved he was willing to take me back, but he seemed to think it was all his fault, and I had no idea how to make him see that the blame rested entirely with me. It's not his fault his job is so demanding. It makes me fucking proud of the guy - I'd have given up after about a week if I had to do such a hard job.
I just miss him.
The hunt for a new place to live went a lot quicker after what had happened. I found us a place about a block away from the hospital - a small house with two bedrooms and a sexy open plan kitchen with a breakfast bar so we could have more proper meals together. Oh, and it was a long enough walk away from all the usual bars and clubs that I'd be a lot less likely to go out if Hadley was on call for a night or something, because I know me, I want to lay down on the first thing that looks like I might fit on it, and I won't drive, because I'm actually not that stupid, despite what I had managed to do to our relationship.
It kept me busy enough. Hadley worked on becoming a doctor, and I packed and did most of the moving, with Alex and Caleb's help, of course. Once all the stuff was moved into the house, and all the big furniture had been moved into the rooms they belonged in, I let them go back to their bunny rabbit sex.
I still had a good few hours before Hadley was due back home, so I set to work unpacking. Having lived in such a small apartment for so long, there really wasn't that much to unpack, and I was done with just over an hour to spare. I perched on the edge of the bed, fiddling with the edge of the duvet cover as I wondered what I could use the last hour to do.
Figuring dinner was a good place to start, I started making the place feel more like home within about two minutes of going downstairs to the kitchen. For someone that can be so OCD about cleaning, I do manage to make a lot of mess.
While I waited for the lasagne I made to cook, I dashed out to the florist I'd seen somewhere around here. I wanted our first night in the new house to be special. So I bought a bunch of roses and some pretty candles, rented a DVD I knew he liked and practically ran back to the house to get everything ready for when my gorgeous husband would walk through the door.
When Hadley got back, he kind of stared at the roses and stuff, asking: "Did I forget Valentine's again or something?"
"No. I'm allowed to treat my husband outside of commercial holidays, right?" I asked, putting the dinner down on the breakfast bar. He nodded and I pulled out a chair for him, smiling. I kissed the top of his head as he sat down and seated myself opposite him. We shared a smile, and I glanced down at the lasagne. "I hope this one turned out okay," I muttered, sort of prodding the lasagne, lifting up one of the layers to see if the meat cooked properly this time.
He laughed a little. "You don't have much luck cooking, do you?"
I grimaced slightly. "I'm better than I was. I don't give us food poisoning quite so often these days." He lets out a hum and we both dig in.
"Have a good day?" he asked.
"Yeah, just unpacking, and trying to think of ways to make our first night in this house special," I smiled, "what about you?"
"Okay, I s'pose. Well, as okay as things are when you have to send a five year old to theatre for a leg amputation."
"He'd cut his foot a while back or something and it'd gotten infected and pretty much everything from the knee down was just dead."
"Wow." I didn't really know what to say. "How's he doing?"
"He's fine. Kind of upset that he can't play soccer anymore but he was fine after a couple hours." I leant over and kissed him on the cheek.
"I dunno how you can do a job like that, Bunny."
"You get used to it after a while."
"Seems hard to imagine getting used to dealing with that sort of stuff," I said sort of thoughtfully. As much as I dislike kids in general, I'm not sure I'd be able to deal with that sort of shit every day.
"Stuff like that doesn't happen very often. It's usually kids with broken arms or the flu." I hummed, falling into a thoughtful silence. I looked up as Hadley cocked his head to one side a little. "What're you thinking about?" He asked.
"I was thinking... that instead of turning the spare bedroom into an office or something that we could use it for... something else," I trailed off, knowing what I wanted to say, but not sure how to say it in a way that sounded like I was trying to bribe Hadley to stay with me or something.
"Like what?" he looked kinda excited.
"Well we could maybe use it as a room for someone else. Like Beau, maybe. I know John has other stuff to do. I figured we could ask him if he wanted us to look after her a couple days a week or something." In other words as a kind of test to see if maybe I'm ready to look after a kid, and to see if Hadley has enough time to make for both me and a kid. I think he smiled, but I was too busy studying a lump of tomato. "Just an idea," I shrugged, already wondering if it'd been a good idea to tell him that. I mean, I know that's what I had in mind when I picked somewhere with two bedrooms, but... I dunno.
He took a hold of my hand. "I'd like that," he told me. I squeezed a little, already feeling more nervous about this idea than I was about marrying him. Smiling, he planted a kiss on my lips which I returned. He hummed, apparently not noticing that I was doing my best not to come up with reasons to get out of this. I pushed the last of my lasagne in my mouth and swallowed, barely noticing that I'd hardly even chewed it.
"C'mon, I got ice cream and one of your favourite movies," I slap a smile on my face and get up to get the ice cream from the freezer.