I didn't know what to say. I just stood there staring at Maxxie in shock. He'd been cheating on me... A thousand questions exploded in my head at once. Why? With who? Wasn't I good enough for him anymore? Did he want me to top more?
"Hadley?" he asked in tears after a while.
I still wasn't capable of forming words and he glanced at Cayden, sitting on the floor.
"Am I not good enough?" I asked quietly.
He looked up at me. "Of course you are. It's just like I said, I'm a shitty husband"
"I can be better, I promise" I said, not really hearing him.
"You're perfect, hadley. It's me that needs to be better"
"I only went to bars out of loneliness at first, I swear. I never meant for it to end up like this" I looked at him kind of innocently. "I started going out with the intention of making friends, but most of the friends I made all seemed to have the same agenda. It was my fault, Hadley, I should've said no, but I was horny. I know it's no excuse, but that's the truth. I'm so sorry"
"I can top more if that's what you want. I mean, I don't enjoy it as much but if it's what you want" I said kind of desperately.
"No, I just... I just need you around more, gorgeous. We don't spend enough time together anymore"
"I'm sorry. I'm trying, I really am" I said, feeling the tears start up a little.
"It's not your fault. I didn't mean it like that. Sorry"
For some reason that didn't make me feel any better. He got up and it kind of looked like he wanted to hug me. I would've enjoyed one but it wouldn't have made me feel any less like it was all my fault.
"Please, I'm sorry. I'll be better, if you'll give me another chance"
“I'll... I'll take some time off sick from the hospital or something. I'll... I dunno"
"No, no. You can't lie to get out of work. We'll move closer, and you'll be home earlier and you won't be so tired all the time"
"So... It was my fault?" I sniffled.
"No" he said, sounding frustrated with himself. "I'm making this worse. Sorry. It's not your fault, I'm just a dick, and a shit husband. Please give me another chance"
I nodded, still feeling like it was my fault somehow. I mean, I could've fucked him more. I could've... I dunno, but I still felt like it was my fault. He looked relieved, hesitating before cuddling me.
"I promise I'll be better" I whispered, cuddling him back.
He kissed my cheek. "It's not you that needs to be better, gorgeous" he said and I shook my head. "Please, don't think it's you that needs to be better"
"It is, though. I'm s'posed to be there for you"
"It's not your fault. I'm sorry I couldn't wait" he said, playing with my hair and I shook my head a little.
"I'm the one that should be sorry"
"Don't" he said, pressing his forehead to mine. I sighed a little. "It was me that fucked up, not you. You didn't do anything wrong. I'm so sorry. I promise you I'll do everything I can to make it up to you"
I buried my head in his neck almost in defeat. We both thought we were to blame and I wasn't about to change my mind any time soon.
"I honestly won't be surprised if you decide not to forgive me. I hope you do though" he said, leaning his head on top of mine.
He cuddled me tightly and I cuddled back, glancing at Cayden. He was smiling faintly and I kind of wondered what he was smiling at. Me and Maxxie were quiet and Cayden kept smiling.
"I'll leave you guys to it" he said and Maxxie shot him an unimpressed face. "What?"
"I hate you for making me do this to him" he said quietly.
"It's for the best" Cayden said and Maxxie sighed. "Don't blame me because you can't keep it in your pants, Max" Cayden kind of snapped.
"And you can?"
“Better than you”
"Fuck off back to your bar to go pull someone that isn't married"
Cayden glared at Maxxie and I kind of arched an eyebrow at them. Maxxie kicked him out and my eyebrow arched that little bit further. Maxxie disappeared into the kitchen and I followed him, my eyebrow still arched.
"What was that about?" I asked as Maxxie tried to clean some weird black mess off the wall.
"Please tell me"
"I just went to a bar to try and drown my sorrows about being a shit husband. I wasn't even there to talk to anyone, I just didn't want to drink myself to sleep on the sofa and make you clean up after me. Anyway, who should wander in, but Cayden" he said and told me what happened between them. I didn’t say anything, too busy being torn between being mad and Cayden and feeling that little bit guiltier. "And then he told me to come back, make something nice for dinner and tell you calmly, and not how I did with dinner attached to the wall"
I cuddled him and he cuddled back.
"I'll make something else, if you have any appetite after this"
“We could always go to the pizza place” I said quietly.
“If you’re up for it”
I smiled a little and he kind of smiled back, taking my hand in his. I squeezed his hand a little and he squeezed back, leading me out the front door.