“Cayden?” John said kind of quietly as he played with my hair.
“Have you actually told anyone about us yet?”
Honestly? No. No I had not. Me and John had been going steady for the better part of six months and I hadn’t really wanted to tell anyone just in case it like jinxed it or something. Plus the fact that we haven’t exactly got that great a history together kind of gave me the impression people would try and talk me out of it. And... I kind of didn’t want to say anything since it was technically me that split up him and Mari... Yeah, believe it or not I am capable of feeling guilt.
“I didn’t think so” John chuckled. “Mind if I ask why not?”
I shrugged. “Never got round to it, I guess” World’s hugest lie right there.
“Fair enough, I s’pose”
I felt bad for lying to him but I guess he bought it since he wrapped his arms around me, planting a kiss on my neck. I hummed, tilting my head but knowing not to expect anything to come of it. Since John had Beau all the time now, sex was something that didn’t happen very often. And even with a libido as monstrous as mine, I didn’t mind. I guess I appreciated what little I got more or something. Eww, I’m getting all mushy like Hads and Max.
“Fancy a quickie?” I chuckled, half joking.
“You know I would if I could” John said, his lips brushing against my skin as he spoke.
I hummed again, turning around in his arms to kiss him properly. Beau was at nursery but the both of us had been so worn out from running around after her that we’d fallen asleep the second we got back from dropping her off. We were past caring about the looks we got for dropping her off together. We’d wound up in bed after deciding on the way home that we’d spend the afternoon having ridiculous amounts of rough sex and had gotten as far as getting each other shirtless before deciding sleep sounded so much fucking nicer. Beau’s an angel, don’t get me wrong, but that kid doesn’t run out of energy. Ever.
I don’t know how it happened, but somehow me and John ended up arguing on the way to pick up Beau. We’d decided to walk since it was a nice day and we’d just been talking about random shit when the whole ‘not telling anyone about us’ thing came up again.
“I don’t get why you won’t tell anyone” John said, trying not to shout. Which was pretty epic of him considering we’d been arguing about it for almost half an hour now.
“I just don’t want to rush things” I said huffily.
“Rush things? Fuck, Cayden, we’ve been together six months. Six months is hardly rushing things”
I rolled my eyes at him and kept walking. I couldn’t help being a little cautious given my previous relationships, could I?
“Are you ashamed to be going out with me or something?” he asked.
“Well it fucking sounds like you are!”
I rolled my eyes again and turned to face him. “John, sometimes I swear to God I could punch you. I’m not ashamed of going out with you”
“So grow a pair and tell someone we’re dating! Fuck, I told the girl at the supermarket the day after we got together!”
“And who exactly am I supposed to tell, huh? My kid brother and my ex? My parents? I get the feeling none of them would actually care considering my Mom hates you, you kidnapped my brother and you raped my ex” Fuck, that was shitty of me.
“So tell Brent. Tell anyone! I don’t fucking care who, Cayden, just tell someone!”
I stormed off, leaving John all pissed off in the middle of the street. He wanted me to tell someone? Oh, I’d fucking tell someone. I clambered up on the nearest traffic light, perching kind of precariously on top of it as I tried not to crush my balls.
“Everybody, I have something important to say” I shouted once John was close enough to hear me. A couple people looked up at me like I was insane but no one was actually listening to me. “There’s someone very special in my life and he’s stood right over there. I fucking love John Ocala, have done for the past thirteen years. I don’t care that his daughter isn’t his and I don’t care that I ruined his marriage. John, I love you more than anything”
I just had to hope that was good enough for him.