I hummed as I curled up next to John. Mom had begrudgingly agreed to look after Beau for the night so we had the house to ourselves. Not that Mom knew I was involved in any way, shape or form. As far as she knew, John was having someone over for dinner and chances were they were staying the night. She must’ve forgiven him for what he’d done a tiny bit, though, since she’s seemed genuinely pleased that he was finally moving on from Mari and trying to piece his life back together.
John absently played with my hair, more than content to just snuggle on the couch for the evening. I felt like I was cheating him of something, though. I mean, it was obvious what he wanted. Why else would he ditch Beau for the night?
I held back a sigh, snuggling up to him a little more. He smiled, his hand sliding down from my hair to my shoulder. I had to admit, I did miss the sex but I still didn’t feel confident enough. Was it that? I don’t know. I think... I think I was too afraid to get too attached because I’d just end up getting hurt again.
Can you blame me? The only serious relationships I’d ever had had both fucked up and fallen to pieces around me.
John stood up after a while, pulling me up with him. I arched an eyebrow at him but he ignored it, switching on the stereo. ...Why do I sense something corny about to happen? He fiddled around with what song he wanted for a few seconds before smiling at me and wrapping his arms around my waist.
A slow tune that I vaguely recognised filtered through the room and John shuffled to and fro slightly. I smiled a little, hugging his waist and leaning my head on his shoulder, swaying to the music with him. I couldn’t remember the lyrics to it, but it was a song from back when we were kids. One of the songs me and him wrote together. The song that we always pretended was about some hot girl in our biology class.
I kissed John’s neck softly, trying to form the lyrics on my lips. Something about ‘that heart of mine’. We stayed in each other’s arms once the song was done, neither of us needing to say anything. This felt right. It’d felt right the first time we were together and we weren’t having sex then. Maybe that was why it felt so right. But I couldn’t just land that on him. Especially since I wouldn’t exactly be happy about him fucking anyone else. That’s if we’re even seeing each other.
That was another thing. We’d never made anything official, and we were both aware of the fact that we both needed some comforting. So... what if that’s all this was? Comfort until we were ready to move on. I couldn’t deal with it if it was. I couldn’t deal with getting my heart broken again.
“Cayden?” John asked quietly after a while.
“Yeah?” I replied, swallowing past the dry lump in my throat.
“I wanted to... Would you... I was wondering if you’d...”
“If you’d, um, if you’d like to be my boyfriend” he rushed out.
My grin almost stretched from one ear to the other. I didn’t really give him a proper answer, my lips crushing against his in an instant. He kissed back and I hugged his waist that little bit tighter. You can’t even begin to understand how relieved I was. Granted getting attached again would mean it’d hurt more if things didn’t work out but fuck, I was willing to risk it.
That was the thing about me and John; in our own strange little way, we’d always needed each other. He kept me grounded and I set him free. Man, that sounds so sappy but it’s true. Without him, I’d never have made it through high school. And without me, he’d still be the nerdy little bible basher he’d been brought up as.
John’s kiss turned a little hard and I felt that lump in my throat start to form again. I matched the pressure and his kiss turned almost a little desperate. Poor guy. I bit my lip a little but didn’t put up a fight. I wanted to, it just... I don’t know how to explain it.
His nimble fingers made short work of the buttons of my shirt and before I knew it, he was on his knees, fumbling with the button on my pants. I groaned as his lips closed around my dick, my fingers tangling in his hair and his head bobbed back and forth. I don’t think I’d anticipated just how horny that’d get me. It really had been a long time since I’d gotten any, huh?