I sucked in a breath as I raised my fist. I’d been stood outside for ten minutes and hadn’t picked up the courage to actually knock on the door. Part of me wanted to just turn around and go home, make some pancakes and get drunk watching Spongebob. But I knew if I listened to that part of me, I’d regret it. I held my breath as I rapped my knuckles against the wood of the door.
“Hey” John said softly with a smile as he opened the door.
“Hey” I said, my voice equally as soft.
“I was starting to think you weren’t gonna show” he chuckled slightly.
“I’ve been stood here for like an hour trying to convince myself to knock on the door”
He smiled again which was pretty much a cue for the awkward silence to kick in. We stood in the doorway for a few minutes and I rubbed the back of my neck as John sort of looked around.
“So... Is the sprogget asleep or...? Cause I can come back some other time if she’s not” I sort of rushed out.
He smiled softly at me. “She’s fast asleep, Smithy”
I sighed. “Sorry, I’m just-”
“Nervous? Me too” he chuckled, showing off just how nervous he was.
I let out a nervous sort of giggle and he smiled again.
“Well, come in, then” he said, smiling even more.
I nodded and stepped inside. The place was exactly the same, minus a few photos of John and Mari together. I would’ve thought he’d redecorate and start over completely but I guess not.
“Make yourself at home” he said, gesturing at the couch.
“Uh, thanks” I said, perching on the edge of the seat nervously.
He flashed me another smile before disappearing into the kitchen. Wait, was he cooking? I’d assumed we were gonna get a pizza and watch a movie or something but if he was cooking... That meant a meal. Meals mean talking. Dude, it took like half an hour for me to even go inside the house, how was I s’posed to have a conversation? He came back after a while with two cans of beer and I downed the one he gave me almost instantly.
“Chill, Cayden” he laughed and I felt heat start to spread through my cheeks.
He sat down next to me on the couch, taking care not to sit too close. It kind of bothered me, if I’m honest. I mean, I was thankful for it in a way because it meant he was trying to get me to relax but... When someone you used to date starts flirting with you at your brother’s wedding, you have certain expectations when you agree to go to their house. He got up again after a while to go check on whatever he was cooking and came back, announcing it was ready.
We sat at the dinner table which, being a family dining table, seemed too big for just the two of us. John opened a bottle of wine and poured a glass for me, the same soft smile pressed to his face. Honestly, that smile was relaxing me more than any amount of booze could. We didn’t talk much over dinner but we didn’t need to. We’d known each other so long there was nothing else to say. We managed to start talking after a few drinks, though.
“Hey, can you remember that summer when Brent went down on that guy?” John asked, sipping at a beer.
“I thought he went down on a girl?”
“No that’s what he told everyone cause he was all “oh shit, I can’t let the guys know I sucked off another guy””
“Is that when he said it was that Latino chick? And then we went and spoke to her and she had no clue who he was”
“Yeah. And then they ended up fucking”
“Now way, man. Brent’s too fucking pussy for that”
John shook his head. “He did cause I remember he was gonna ask her out and she was like “oh, by the way, I have a boyfriend” and he was heartbroken for like a day”
I chuckled and John let out a contented sigh. I smiled at him and he mirrored it before leaning over and kissing me. I kissed back for a few seconds before pulling back, a blush spreading across my cheeks. John eyed me curiously and I blushed more.
“Sorry, it just... I dunno, it seems too soon”
“It’s okay” he smiled, settling on putting an arm round my shoulders.
I snuggled up to him a little as he switched on the TV for some background noise. Who knows, maybe things might actually work out this time.