I missed my flight... I couldn't believe it. "Oh, Aisling. What are we gonna do?" I ask not expecting an answer. I pace the dusty carpet of her untouched room as she rolls in her old cot giggling.
"What?" I gasp turning to her and picking her up from the cot. She stares at me with innocent eyes. "What about Rosa?" My voice is only a mere whisper.
"Mamma Rosa home" Aisling mumbles. I put her down and she toddles across the room to her play box. I sit down and begin to cry again. She still calls her her mamma.
But she can never be her mamma. She hasn't been her mamma for a while not since we broke up and I had to leave. Not since I knew Rosa could never love me..... never.
I found a spare mobile in my study and began to text her.
"Aisling just called you Mamma..... but I don't believe it can ever be that way. I love you too much to be around you and watch you with that other girl. I should never of come.
I'm sorry. If you want to see Aisling you can but you'll have to come find her but never with your new partner.... never. I won't have her being called Mamma by my child"
I let the phon drop from my fingers as the text sent. "Aisling" I call getting up and going to find her holding and cuddling the teddy Rosa got her... I can't remember when I just remember her saying that a simple bear like it was cute. Aisling was chewing on its ear and she turned to look at me as I came in. "Oh, sweety" I say sitting down in front of her and folding my legs. "Do you like that bear?"
"Wes" She says smiling before giggling.
"Aww, what shall we call it?" I ask pulling her into my lap.
"Rosa" She says. I tense.
"Thats not Rosa, honey"
"Rosa" she says hugging it tighter and I sigh.
"Okay, honey" I whisper a tear trailing down my cheek. "If thats what you want"
"Wes" Aisling says with a firm nod.