When Cay's done questioning me and Hadley, he tells us he has to go back to his place and after all the hugs and ‘glad you're back's, he goes. I settle down on the sofa to watch TV with Hadley, snuggling as he plays with my hair.
He trails a finger down my neck slowly and I tilt my head slightly. He kisses my neck, biting slightly. I let out a whine. That's not fair. He presses a finger to my lips and I quieten.
The next thing I know, he's straddling me, undoing my shirt. I close my eyes. I'm not in the mood, for the first time in forever. He kisses my chest and I shift a little, wondering how I can get out of this without feeling bad about it or making him end up thinking I don't want him or something stupid like that. While I'm thinking about this, he's busy giving me a hickey on my collarbone. I whine again - not just at the hickey, but at the whole situation.
He kisses the hickey. My eyes slide closed again as he kisses me kind of hard. I kiss back, but nowhere near as hard. He kisses harder but it doesn't make me return his kiss any harder. I return every kiss, let him thread his fingers through my hair, and feel bad the entire time. I feel like I'm leading him on. If worst comes to worst, I'll let him fuck me anyways - y'never know, I might be in the mood by then, but I somehow doubt it.
I kind of keep my hands to myself, despite the fact he's unbuttoning my shirt some more. As he runs his finger down my chest and over my stomach, I stare at the ceiling, trying to think of everything that would normally turn me on, but it's just not there today. I feel my cheeks begin to heat up as he slides his hand into my boxers. He pushes his lips on mine again and I kiss back, trying to get my dick to do something.
He leans in and whispers in my ear, "fuck me."
"I can't," I reply quietly.
"I-I dunno," I mumble, blushing more. "Sorry."
He tilts his head to one side, "It's okay..." Not really. I feel an upset look creep onto my face and he kisses my cheek. "I'm just gonna go pee." I stop him, pushing him down on the sofa and shifting back to undo his pants. He lets me pull back his boxers and go down on him. Just because I'm not in the mood, doesn't mean I can't do something for him. He moans and I swallow it all down, kissing him when he's done. He kisses back, smiling.
I pull him back up and huggle him, smiling a little as he hugs back and kisses me on the nose. I bury my head in his neck, still kind of embarrassed, though as he plays with my hair, I let out a hum.
We stay like that for a while, but there's something wrong with the quiet between us. I unbury my face and ask him if he's okay.
"Are you okay?"
"I'm fine. You?" I bite my lip a little. Maybe it's just me, but I swear there's something not right. "What?"
"It's just... it doesn't matter." Why are you always such a pussy, Max? Honestly.
"No, tell me."
I sigh, "I dunno where my sex drive went. I'm sorry." He smiles.
"It's okay, it doesn't matter." But I feel like it does. He goes quiet again and I frown. I don't know why, I just kinda feel like I've somehow failed him in a way. Like I've already gone against what Cay said and ended up hurting him, even though I didn't mean to. He arches an eyebrow at me, and goes back to watching TV, leaving me to sit there inwardly freaking out.