Me and Mom eventually gave up looking at venues and she went off to go cook dinner. I sat on the couch with Maxxie and he was still being super cuddly. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not that I didn’t like it. It was just... a little concerning. I traced circles on his arm and he watched me, a small smile pressed to his lips.
"You okay?” I asked. “You've been really huggy"
He nodded. "Yep"
I felt my eyebrow arch a little. "Sure?"
I let out a tiny sigh and kept tracing circles.
"You alright?" he asked and I nodded. "Are you sure?"
I nodded again, giving him a small smile and he pecked me on the lips. I kissed back and we snuggled up to each other. Maxxie was no doubt happy to stay like that but the thought of venues crept back onto my mind. I grabbed the laptop and re-snuggled, glancing at the various venues we’d found. Maxxie put his arms round me and I kept looking.
"What other states can we go to?" he asked.
"Connecticut, Iowa, Massachusetts, New Hampshire, Vermont, and Washington" I said after I’d googled it.
"Why not have a look at venues in one of them?"
He shrugged. "Washington"
I looked up some venues there but I kind of got the feeling Maxxie wasn’t really looking at them
"What do you think?"
"I dunno. It's up to you, Bunny. We could get married in a field and I don't think it'd make much difference to me" he said smiling slightly.
I smiled back. "You wouldn't be saying that if it rained"
He giggled. "You're talking to someone who grew up in England"
I leant my head on his shoulder with a chuckle and he leant his head on top of mine.
I sighed a little. "I have no clue about any of this stuff"
"Me neither... let's get married in a field"
I giggled. "With moo cows?"
"Could do" he giggled as well and I hummed.
Mom came over with dinner and the three of us started eating. I could see it in Mom’s eyes that she’d prefer it if we were sat round a table like a happy little family but oh well, the couch was good enough.
"Must be nice to have a decent cooked meal for a change"
"You missed out on my carbonara" Maxxie said.
"You'll have to make it whenever I'm round next"
He nodded and the two of them went back to eating.
"I'll wash up later, don't worry about it" Maxxie said to Mom once we were finished.
He cuddled me and Mom nodded, smiling. I felt my eyebrow arch a little bit and he rested his head on my shoulder. I played with his hair, my eyebrow still arched.
"I love you" he said.
"I love you too"
"You sure you're okay?" I asked after a while.
"Yeah... why d'you keep asking?"
"You're not usually this huggy"
"Oh... sorry" he said, sort of sitting up.
"It's nothing to be sorry over. It's just a bit worrying"
"I didn't mean to worry you" he smiled.
"And you're sure you're okay? There's nothing bugging you or anything?"
"You worry too much"
He kissed my forehead and I shut my eyes. He stroked my hair before pushing it back and I hummed a little. He kissed me and Mom looked away when I kissed back. Maxxie giggled an apology and she smiled.
"Don't worry about me, boys"
Maxxie smiled back and I played with his hair for a bit. He ended up cuddling me again but he was hugging me kind of tight. I squirmed a little bit and he pulled back a little, frowning.
"Sorry. You were kinda squishing me"
I stroked his cheek. "It's okay"
He smiled slightly and I kissed his nose. He sat back and sort of glanced at the laptop. He reached over me and closed it and I arched an eyebrow.
"We can go back to looking at venues tomorrow" he mumbled.
"Unless you really wanted to keep looking, I mean"
"I don't mind"
He took my hand and drew patterns on the back of it. I shut my eyes, humming, and he kept doing it. I kept my eyes shut and felt a tiny smile creep onto my lips.
"So what's left to plan then?" Maxxie asked Mom, still drawing shapes.
"Most of it, to be honest" she said and Maxxie let out a small groan. It’s not like you’ve been doing anything, buddy. "Well a certain someone won't pick anything. He keeps fussing over it for twenty minutes and then moving onto the next thing without choosing anything"
"I'm gonna hire a wedding planner at this rate"
Mom chuckled and I pouted.
“Pick stuff then"
"I want your opinion on things, though"
"You know my opinion on things. I'm not fussed if it's what you want"
"I know. But I still wanna know what you think of stuff"
I let out a tiny sigh. "I never get a straight answer out of you when I ask, though"
"He's got a point there, Maxxie" Mom said.
Maxxie was quiet and I looked at him expectantly.
"What? I don't know what you want me to say to anything"
I felt my face twist into a sort of frowny, hurt expression. "I just want to know what you think"
He sighed. "Sorry. I just never know what to say"
I was kind of quiet after that and Maxxie looked upset.
He squeezed my hand a little. "I'll try harder next time"
I flashed him a small smile but it didn’t reach my eyes. He didn’t want to marry me. That was the only thing I could think of. I mean, it’d explain why he had no interest in any of the planning. And I guess it’d explain why he was smoking so much. Great, so I’m engaged to someone that doesn’t even want to marry me.
Maxxie cuddled me and I leant on him a tiny bit, staying silent. He kissed my neck but I didn’t tilt my head or anything. That upset look crept onto his face again and he leant his head on my shoulder. I let out a tiny sigh and rested my head on his. The two of us were silent and it was no doubt really awkward for Mom.
"...Right, well, I'm gonna leave you boys to it" she said after a while.
"'Kay" Maxxie mumbled quietly.
"I'll be back some time in the week"
She stood up and Maxxie nodded slightly.
"Bye, Mom" I mumbled.
Mom left and the room fell into silence again. Maybe I should just tell him it’s okay if he doesn’t want to marry me... Oh come on, who would want to marry me? Idiot.