I can't say I actually enjoyed the sex all that much, to be honest. I mean, it was good; fuck, it should've been fantastic.
It just didn't feel right with someone that wasn't Hadley.
Probably didn't help much that I realised just how much he looked like Cayden by the time we got back to his.
He makes me some breakfast and while he's eating his own, I thank him for not letting me die last night.
"Can't say I'm used to hearing that one," he smiles slightly, "I usually get ‘thanks for a great night'."
"That one too," I mutter, picking at the pancakes on the plate in front of me. The pain from not having had a codeine pill yet is kinda fogging my mind, though, and I wonder vaguely as I search my pockets for a sheet of the painkillers whether my dependence on them right now is purely from the physical pain. I mean, it's basically a really mild dose of heroin, if you think about it. It's not like they're not addictive in some way.
I pull out the sheet of pills, dismayed to see that there's only one left. I throw it back with the glass of orange juice in front of me and push my plate aside, putting my head down on the table.
"You okay there?" ugh, do I look okay? Everything hurts, I fucked someone I shouldn't have when I was s'posed to be looking for my fiancé, who by the way, probably somehow found out I just cheated on him knowing my luck, and after I hopefully save my relationship with him again, we still have to find and tell Cayden we're engaged. If Hadley still wants to be engaged, that is.
I make my excuses and somehow manage to make it out of there without throwing up or passing out, despite both of those feeling like they're kinda sneaking up on me. Once I'm home, I just flip the sofa bed out and collapse on it, ignoring as distant pain flares somewhere in my body.
Eventually, I push myself up and watch TV. What I'd really like to do, is have a shower and wash last night's jizz off, but I can't fucking get dressed on my own, so unless I want to wander around in the streets naked and looking for him, TV is my only option really. For a while, I just sit there killing time with whatever crap's on.
Until a few hours go by and there hasn't even been a hint of Hadley yet. I start to worry a little. Is he not coming back? Was leaving the ring and a note saying he was going out his way of saying goodbye?
I tell myself it's completely irrational to think like that, but I can't seem to stop it and after about another hour, I'm near convinced he's left me, and I feel kinda nauseous.
I get up and call Caleb, wondering if he might know where Hadley's gotten to.
"What?" he groans down the phone, sounding very hung over.
"D'you know where Hadley is?"
"Why would I know?"
"I dunno, I was just asking," I try to keep my voice even and not betray the fact that I'm panicking a little bit here.
"He went out last night, but he's not come back yet."
"Can't help you, dude. I never even saw him leave last night," he tells me. I don't say anything, too busy trying to work out where he could be. "He might've gone to Cayden's. The bar we were at wasn't too far from his place."
"...'Kay. Thanks," I mumble, hanging up.
It takes me a while, but when I finally get some shoes on, I trudge out, heading over to Cay's place, hoping that Hadley might be there. It doesn't even occur to me that he might come back while I'm out looking for him and start thinking the same things I've spent the last four or five hours thinking.
Instead of going back to write a note, I leave a message on my answer phone, hoping that if he goes back while I'm out he'll see the light flashing on the phone and listen.
Of course, when I get to Cayden's place, that note saying he'll be back in five minutes is still on the door, and when I knock, there's no answer. Nothing.
Brilliant. So both of them are missing. That's just great.