Cayden: Why?Mature

 

Maybe I shouldn’t have cooked for Jake after all. I thought by staying silent I could make it seem as little like mine and Maxxie’s date but it didn’t work. As we were making out on the couch, every little detail of that certain date ran through my head. Every tiny microscopic little detail right down to the mind blowing sex after.  I pulled away from Jake, not entirely pleased with the idea of fucking him with Maxxie on my mind.

"What’s the matter?"

I sighed. "I can't do this"

"Okay" he stroked my cheek and sat up, keeping me on his lap.

That was another thing I wasn’t used to. Or that keen on, to be honest. We all know I like being in control when it comes to sex and so far I’ve only let John and Maxxie actually fuck me. I shifted away from him a little and he shrugged, moving back over to the dinner table and grabbing the two bottles of wine resting on it. I pulled my knees up to my chest and Jake handed me one of the wine bottles as he sat down. I drank some of it, watching as he took a long swig before slumping against the couch.

"Those progress reports have ended. She's started her new life” he said and I had to think for a second over who he was talking about.

"That's good, right?"

"I'm not sure... it means I've lost everything. That I have no one" he said, taking another drink.

"Just need to find some new people then" I shrugged.

"Yeah... I'm not an outgoing type"

He drank some more.

"Well, I reckon we're better off single anyway. Relationships are too much hassle"

"Really believe that?!” Yes. Why is that such a shock to you?

I nodded. "All mine were, anyway"

"You need to be proven wrong, mate. I may have lost someone but relationships do work"

"Yeah, for everyone but me"

He leant over and hugged me and I found myself hugging back. I stayed like that for a while but ultimately I wanted a hug from my sister. Ava always seemed to know exactly what to say to make me feel better, if only for a minute or two.

“I should probably go”

"Yeah... Sure" he said but didn’t let go.

I made a pathetic attempt at pulling back, feeling too fucking sorry for myself to really put any effort in. He moaned a little but still didn’t let go.

 "I really need to go" I mumbled and he moaned again. "What?"

"I'm too tired to move" he drank some more. Evidently not too tired to drink yourself stupid.

"No one said you had to move"

"Well if you move I have to cause I'm hugging you"

I sort of wriggled out of his arms. "See? No moving"

"Now I'm cold"

"You have a bed"

"Yeah but that means moving. I think I'm drunk"

"I think so too. Want me to carry you?"

"No cause then I'll want you in my bed" Yeah, I’m not exactly a pushover in a fight, buddy.

I shrugged. “Your loss. I’ll see you around, yeah?”

He moaned yet again but waved and I left without another word. I made it back to Ava and Ryan’s in record time and they instantly knew something was wrong when I walked through the door. Ava sat up and they cleared a space for me on the couch. I curled up between them, leaning on Ava and fighting back tears. I felt her arm slip round my shoulders and her hand was in my hair, playing with it. I bit my lip as I felt the firs tear roll off my cheek and onto her shirt. I sniffled and before I knew it I was crying my eyes out over everything. Over Maxxie, over Gage, weirdly enough over John. Everything. Neither Ava nor Ryan said anything. Ava just kept hugging me and playing with my hair and I think I felt Ryan rub my back every now and then. Why is my life nothing but fucking bullshit?

The End

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