Okay, I'd lost everyone everything. The things my mum let happened to me have begun to haunt my dreams again. Yet.... her I am. Gaining back my life in Scotland. Its colder than any place I'm use to and since I starved myself for so long I've lost the little bit of fat that gave me warmth.
But thats changing. I'm actually starting to get curve something I'm not use to. My height of course can't change which is slightly sad since I've always wanted to be taller. Scratch that just tall enough to stand perfectly next to Rosalita. But thats all changed now. I can't go back. I know if I do I'll break down again. She was my life line for so long I didn't know if she knew it.
My hairs different now. It all been straightened. Its allowed me to have a side fringe which covers my right eye and goes over my left. Then the rest is cut to about just past should length. Its all be died a Dark Red, I'd say Auburn but you can see the red tinge to it. I use to love my hair. Everyone loved how I kept my hair. Even Jake.
Oh, Jake. Apparantly they send him a doctors report of how I am doing. Yet I can never see him again. It would be nice to but I can't. I have to wipe the slate clean completely. Thats why... tommorow I'm leaving the house where I've been looked after.
I'm moving into a flat on the coast near Edinburgh, regaining custody over Lilianna whose had been put with some foster parents during my... well, they're calling it break-down so I may aswell call it that. And we will be talking the names of May and Aisling Calling.
I actually like the new names. I mean being called May will feel a little strange but I'll get use to it. I've also been sort of moulded so I speak more Scottish than I do American. They said I'm doing well but of course some slips in but I believe I'll be able to master it in another few weeks.
They've also got me a job at a art workshop. Only selling at the moment. I do have an Art degree which I took part time at some point. So they believe I might even become an artist. I might start painting Aisling. She is all I have left now.
I don't know if Jake ever told Rosalita that I moved away. Knowing what state he was in I guess not. Its not like she could easily find me. She could find out I'm in Edinburgh, Scotland but she'd hardly go through all the trouble to travel here.
Never mind that, she probably wouldn't recognize me now and that pains me so much. I just hope she doesn't waste her time. But if I do still know her she'll panic and could even panic to the point of coming or just leave it.