I settle on the bed with my laptop and send an email to my mum that basically says I'm spending Christmas with Hadley's family and that I'd rather kill myself than spend Christmas with my dad. Not in so many words, but y'know.
I can't help thinking about how the fact that even though hearing how John's parents died should make me appreciate my own more, I don't. Does that make me a bad person? I guess it probably does.
Looking up from the screen that I've been staring blankly at for the last few minutes, I see Hadley standing in the doorway, sipping at his coffee, giving me this expectant look.
"I was nice!" I say, raising my hands a little defensively.
"Good," he says, but he doesn't look like he's entirely convinced.
"I might have implied I would rather kill myself than spend time with my dad... but I was nice to her, and that's what matters, right?" he shakes his head a little and smiles as I shut the laptop and put it on the floor. I pat the empty space on the bed next to me, smiling back as he sits with me. He leans into me, humming as I put an arm around him. I kiss his temple softly and he smiles, shutting his eyes. I cuddle him, my mind wandering back to John over on the sofa bed.
Seriously though, what're we gonna do with him?
"Looking forward to Christmas with my insane family, then?" Hadley asks, hugging my waist.
"Well I've mentally prepared myself for your mum glaring at me the whole time and the usual family disasters that Christmas brings, if that counts?" I give a slight laugh. He giggles and hugs me a little tighter. "Still, whatever your family has to throw at me, I'm sure I'll be fine. Gotta be better than spending Christmas with my family, after all."
He hums a little again. "You should fly your grandpa over next year."
"Mmm. It's been a while since he was last in America." He yawns a little and I kiss his cheek. "Did you have your pill today?" he shakes his head.
"I keep forgetting," he tells me and I frown a little, prodding him in the side.
"Go take it now." He groans and I prod him again. He pulls out the puppy eyes.
"Do I have to?"
"I prefer my Hadley awake," I smile. He lets out another groan and shuffles off to take it. I get up and follow him into the kitchen to get another coffee.
"More coffee?" Hadley asks, arching an eyebrow.
"Surely you should be used to the amount of coffee I drink by now," I mutter. Especially since I'm not allowed to smoke. He laughs a little and I smile, pushing myself up on the counter. He leans his elbows on my knees, smiling back. Leaning down, I plant a kiss on his lips, smiling as he kisses back and hums. I slide off the counter and hug him, doing my best not to let my thoughts or eyes stray back to John. Hadley rests his head on my chest and hugs back. He sighs a little and I realise my gaze has ended up on John.
"Yeah. It's just kinda sad seeing him like this again."
"I dunno what to do," I mumble. He rubs my back a little.
"There's nothing you can do, really. Try not to worry too much."
"Worrying is what I do best," I laugh weakly.
"He just needs to find someone else," he says, kissing me softly. Yeah, brilliant plan. Shame he has his heart set on me. I sigh and press my forehead to Hadley's.
"I need to stop being so caring, don't I?" I chuckle.