"I need a drink," he says. Because the state you found me in last night is a real positive advert for solving your problems with excessive alcohol. I shuffle over to the fridge and get out those beers he'd mentioned. He thanks me and downs one at what should be a worrying speed.
I just open the next one and hand that to him as well, watching him down that one, too. I sigh, wondering what to do. I wanna call Hadley and see if he's calmed down yet. But as much as I dislike John, I don't really want to leave him on his own like this. It's not fun.
He puts his head back in his hands and I put an arm around him. He leans into me a bit. After a while, he sighs. "Want me to stay here for a while longer?" I offer.
"Not if you want to go home." I shrug.
"Like I said, I'm not so sure Hadley will welcome me back with open arms right now." He leans on me a little bit more and I take that as a cue to stay put. He shifts to get another beer and though I watch kinda disapprovingly, I don't say anything. I don't wanna be a hypocrite like that. He drinks it a little slower, though, so I guess that's a mini improvement.
I take the can from him and pull him up. "C'mon, if you're gonna drink yourself stupid, at least do it on the sofa." He doesn't really move, so I end up sort of half dragging him into the front room and dumping him on the sofa. Once he's sat down, he grabs hold of a cushion and hugs it while I go and get the last few beers from the kitchen. I flop down on the sofa beside him, watching almost sadly as he hugs the cushion a bit tighter.
After a while, his eyes close and I find myself pushing back his hair gently, not entirely sure why or where this is going. His eyes stay shut and with less than a second's hesitation, I pull the cushion out of his grasp, wrapping his arms around my waist. He leans his head on my shoulder and I in turn, rest my head on his. We stay like that for what seems an age until he pulls back, mumbling something.
"I need more booze. And maybe a whore."
"Well you're hugging one, remember?" I mutter, trying not to sound bitter.
"I'm too emo right now to even argue with that." I laugh slightly at that. He gives me a tiny smile.
"C'mon, man, you can do better than that," I say, prodding the corners of his mouth up. He chuckles a teeny bit.
"My folks taught me not to fake smiles." They're better than my parents just for that reason. My family always pulled out the happy family card any time there was even the potential for someone to notice there was something wrong.
"I like the sound of your rents already."
"I miss them."
"Can't you go see them?"
"I do...to change the flowers." Oh, shit. Nice one, Max. I brush his hair back again and kiss his forehead.
"Sorry." He shuts his eyes again and I plant another kiss on his cheek.
"I haven't got much left, have I?" he lets out a bitter laugh and I hug him a little tighter. He hugs back and I just sit there like that with him, at a loss for words and with no real idea of what to do. He kisses my cheek and almost automatically, my hand reaches up to play with his hair. His lips brush against my neck and I tilt my head, barely registering just who it is kissing my neck, or where I am. I hardly even remember where I'm supposed to be.
At the back of my mind, a little voice is going, ‘this isn't right, where's Bunny?' But as John's lips move up to my jaw, I find myself almost ignoring that voice. He pecks me on the lips and for a moment, I freeze, kind of wondering what's going on.
And then I'm kissing him back. Why? Your guess is as good as mine.
He nips at my bottom lip and I hum slightly, kissing him a little harder. I feel him match it and for a moment, I feel myself hesitate. He pulls back a little. I don't know what to do. Well, I do know what to do - go find Hadley and try to make it up to him.
But I think it's the fear of being rejected by him all over again that keeps me where I am. Is that a good enough reason for doing this?
Of course not.
So why is it that when he bites his lip, I start kissing him again?