While Hadley sleeps, I get my laptop and sit next to him with it. I need to find an apartment nearer to where Hadley's college is so he doesn't have to waste time or money on travel. It's not like I have much of a life here anyways. I mean, I have a job, and I know people around here, but honestly, I wouldn't miss any of it if we moved to the other side of America, so long as Hadley was with me and I knew Cay was okay.
I push the thought of Cay out of my head. If I start thinking about it, I'll worry myself into a panic attack over it.
... I fucking hope he's okay.
It's only when Hadley rubs his eyes a bit and says "You'll get stuck like that if the wind changes" that I realise I've been staring into space with a frown creasing my brow. I look over at hime, surprised.
"Didn't realise you were awake," I mutter.
"I should be insulted by that," he smiles.
"Sorry," I mumble, looking back at the screen.
"I was joking, beautiful," he says, kissing my cheek. I manage a tiny smile, trying to not make him worry about me, but I don't think it's working. "You okay?"
"Mmm. Just-" I sigh, "just worrying about Cay." He kisses my cheek again.
"He'll be fine. I bet you ten bucks he just went to try and find Gage's grave." Am I convinced yet? No. And I doubt I will be til I see proof for myself. "Cheer up, sport."
"I'm fine," I gesture at the page on the screen, "there're some nice apartments near your college. I was thinking- well, it's up to you." He rests his head on my shoulder and I smile slightly.
"I seriously don't mind staying here."
"Commuting isn't any fun. And you're gonna need that time to study rather than sit on the subway being bored." He presses his lips to my neck and I tilt my head a little. I'm not sure whether that's out of habit or not these days.
"I can read on the subway, can't I?"
"Like I said, it's up to you."
"And like I said, I don't mind staying here. It's your decision really," he says with a slight shrug. I frown a little. Would moving be a good idea? I mean, it would for Hadley, and it doesn't really bother me, it's just effort. But what if Cay came back and I was suddenly gone? Hadley cuts off my thoughts before they can take over my head again with a kiss. I kiss back and sigh.
"Just ignore me. My brain likes to blow things out of proportion." He gives me a small smile.
"I can't ignore you; you kinda mean everything to me." I don't really know what to say to that. Well, I do. But the words kinda seize up in my head and all I can do is hug him. So I do.
He hums, hugging back and when I kiss him, he kisses back a little harder. I pause long enough to move the laptop to the floor so I can pull him a bit closer to me, making him hum some more.
"I love you," I murmur, kissing the top of his head. He smiles.
"I love you so much. You know that, right?" I nod, smiling. Of course I know. And I wish there were words that would cover just how much I love the guy. ‘I love you' doesn't quite cut it. I just have no idea what else I could say. He pecks me on the lips and I kiss back, snuggling with him. He hums again, cuddling me.
I'm quite happy to just sit there huggling like this, but Hadley starts kissing along my jaw. I smile a little, enjoying the extra contact. He returns the smile and keeps up with the kissing. I hum a tiny bit, turning my attention to his neck.
"No hickeys," he mumbles against the skin on my jaw. I chuckle and nip at his neck jokingly. He whines and sort of bites at my jaw. I don't mind. I don't think I'd mind even if it left a mark. I kiss his neck again, making my way up to his lips. His kiss is harder than mine and I match it. He kisses harder still and threads his fingers through my hair.
Needless to say, my much unloved libido is raring to go, and I can feel my jeans getting a little tight. Which isn't helped at all when he straddles me. I bite down on my lip a little, looking up at him. He giggles. Don't be mean, Bunny, you know I need sex more than you. I pout at him, only to receive a peck on the lips.
I kiss back, maybe a little harder than I'd meant to, but he matches it, moving a hand down to my waist. Just a bit further? C'mon. Give a guy a break.
I wriggle a little, in some vain attempt to get him to move his hand down. He just chuckles and kisses me again. Why did I fall in love with such a cocktease?