So a couple of weeks ago, I stopped seeing Cay so much. Of course, I blamed my new job for fucking with my sleep and it was the perfect excuse, really, since I roll in at about two in the morning, sometimes later, but let's be honest here. That's not the real reason I stopped seeing him so much.
I was sitting on Cay's bed next to him the way we sort of accepted as the norm by then, and we were just talking. All was normal. Even when he put his arm around my waist, I didn't think anything of it. We'd been hugging a fair bit even if there was no reason behind it. Why not? Hugs are nice. I leant into him a little, still careful of his chest. He smiled.
"Do you ever wonder how things would be if we were still together?" he asked. I probably should have realised around about then that this was not going to be a normal visit. Did I? No, of course I didn't. Because I'm a fucking idiot like that.
"Yeah, sometimes. Why?" I mean the split between us was still fairly recent, after all, and we all know how bad I am at letting stuff go. He let out a slight sigh.
"No reason." A small frown creased my brow and I wanted to ask what the reason was, but he smiled.
"Sure," I muttered doubtfully, my disbelief pretty evident in my voice. He bit his lip and I rolled my eyes.
"What's the reason you asked, Cay?"
He hesitated for a second before turning and kissing me. I froze and, of course, didn't kiss back. Okay, I probably should have guessed that one was coming. He bit his lip again. I stuttered. I couldn't even get out half a word right. I should've seen it coming, but I was still shocked.
"That's why I asked..." I sat there in shock for a while and he said nothing.
"I'm sorry, Cay," I finally mumbled, "I'm really sorry, but I can't." He chewed on his lip again and looked upset and honestly, I felt so bad, but... I just couldn't. I couldn't do that to Hadley and I couldn't go back with him after he cheated on me regardless of who I might have been with. I muttered my way through an apology and told him I had to go.
Hadley doesn't know. I haven't told him. I still feel bad. As much as I don't want to go back to England, I'm beginning to think that so long as I don't come across my dad, and it doesn't go to shit the way it did when I went with Cay, it'll be a welcome break from the drama here.
After Hadley's fallen asleep, I reach over to the coffee table and grab my laptop, keeping one arm around him. I balance the laptop on one leg and check my emails. Oh, goody. Momma Fuller has sent another email. She replied to the one I sent her when I was writing it with Cay, but I ignored it. So she's sent another one.
I'm guessing you probably haven't had time to reply to the email I sent you a couple of weeks ago. I just wanted you to know that your granddad's been asking after you all week. His computer's broken and he doesn't want another one, or something like that. He said something about killing Cayden. If you get time to reply, I can pass a message on for you.
Oh, good, so granddad's been raging about Cayden doing exactly what he promised he wouldn't do.
Hi, mum, sorry I've been busy. Got a new job at a bar and I've been kinda busy with a bunch of other stuff.
Tell granddad to calm down, I'm okay. Oh, and remind him how to use the phone. There's nothing wrong with that. Unless he's killed that too.
Anyways, I guess you'll be happy to hear that the trip to London is looking much more likely right now, I guess I'll let you know. You'll get to do the whole meeting the new boyfriend thing all over again. So will granddad.
Push dad off a bridge for me next time you get a chance.
Who ever said I can't do charming, hmm?