"Budge up, Skeleboy," I say, plugging the charger for my laptop in and walking over to the bed. He shuffles over and I sit down next to him, opening the laptop and waiting for the slow piece of shit to wake up and do something. It's not really a laptop, y'see. I call it the craptop usually. It's as good as useless. Cay's trying not to laugh and I shoot him a kinda curious look. "What're you laughing at?"
"Nothing," he replies, still attempting to not laugh. I scowl, which only makes him pout. I shake my head slightly and open the email from my mum with a sigh. "Care to let me read?"
"I've barely read it myself," I mutter, tilting the screen so he can see anyways.
Dad gave me your email after you left, I hope that's okay. We spoke after you left and he seemed pleased that we were making an effort after so long. Tell your boyfriend I say thank you. He's quite nice, isn't he? You guys seem pretty happy together.
Anyway, I guess I'm emailing you more because I was too nervous when we met up to say what I wanted to. I was worried you'd get upset if I seemed too pushy. But I don't know... perhaps emailing you when you didn't give me your address is pushy too.
I'm digressing: I just wanted to say that I'm sorry I didn't support you when you were younger. I took it harder than I imagined I ever might and I suppose I just took the easy way out and ignored you when I knew you needed me. I regret that now, and I wish I could go back and change things.
But I know I can't, so I want to work on repairing our relationship now, and I hope we can get along again.
Hopefully hear from you soon. Love you.
Huh. Could she have made herself sound any more desperate? I'm tempted to close the laptop, throw it on the floor and sulk like a moody teenager. I settle for just sulking.
"Well, clearly you need to let Momma know the one she's thanking isn't ever gonna be her son-in-law now." I hit the reply button and scowl at the flashing cursor, mocking me with its blank page. Write something for me, internet, that's what you're there for.
"Mmm," I grunt, wondering how to word it.
"As for the rest of it... just be yourself. You're a nice guy, that should be easy to reply to." I turn to look at him.
"Look at the sulky face, Cayden. I have regressed into bitchy teenager mode."
"Would a kiss cheer you up?" he asks, holding back a laugh.
"Maybe I can steal your shotgun once you're done with it," I mutter, beginning my reply.
Sorry I didn't reply or pick up your phone calls. My life appears to have turned into an episode of Eastenders. But without the chavs.
Cay glances over to look at what I'm writing. "What's a chav?" I smile slightly.
"White trash, but more annoying."
Anyways, me and Cayden split up recently. But there's good news, too. I fucked off with his brother, ‘cause I'm an asshole like that.
Too honest, maybe? Cayden chuckles slightly.
"She's gonna think we're a family of queers."
"I think she'll be more concerned with me going out with someone nearly six years younger than me, to be honest." Maybe I shouldn't mention that bit.
"You don't have to tell her that."
"She'll ask later on," I shrug, "I won't tell her now, but it'll come out sooner or later." He smiles a little and I go back to staring blankly at the screen, willing it to do the writing for me.
Me and Cay are still friends, though, which is good. I mean, Christmas at the Smith's place would be a little on the awkward side if we didn't still get on. Actually, he's right here next to me. I figured since he was responsible for getting us talking again, I'd write this with him around.
That's pretty unsubtle. I might as well just say I'm not coming back over for Christmas, go screw yourself.
"See, you're not being bitchy."
"I feel it. I'm not writing down half the shit I wanna say." I was considering mentioning ‘hey, it's lucky I'm good at forgiving. At least, I'm good at forgiving everyone except you. ‘Cause you're a bitch and I hate you'. But that wouldn't get us anywhere. Cay gives me a warning look and I smile innocently.
"Keep writing, dollface." I whine.
"I dunno what else there is to say." I've run out of semi nice things to say already and I'm only a few lines in.
"Say it's nice to hear from her or something."
"But it's not." Well, at least I'm honest, eh? He sighs.
"Just say it." I grumble under my breath and try to find a way of saying it that doesn't sound sarcastic.
It's good to hear from you, and I do wanna get on with repairing our relationship too, but I've still got some personal shit going down right now that I need to work through so I don't end up going totally insane.
I might be coming back over at some point before Christmas, but I'm not sure yet, so don't get your hopes up.
I hit send before Cayden can complain about the bitchiness that crept in at the end and put my head on my shoulder.
"I still hate you for this, y'know," I mumble.