Cayden: October 16thMature

October 16th


Hey again, Diary


Um, so this still feels really girly and gay and shit but then again, I am gay so I guess it shouldn’t bother me. It does though. I might be gay but I’m still a guy. Guy’s are manly. Manly guys don’t keep diaries.

 Anyway, Maxxie came by again today. I kind of wasn’t expecting him to after yesterday but I guess he would’ve felt bad about standing me up or something. Would it have been standing me up? It wasn’t like a date or anything. Obviously.

 He bought Hadley with him. Kid barely had three words to say to me but I guess it’s nice to know he doesn’t completely hate me. At least, I hope he doesn’t. It’s kinda weird seeing him and Maxxie together. I mean, Hadley’s always been my straight little brother. And now he’s dating my ex. And not one of my girl exes either.


Yeah, stick that in your pipe and smoke it. I have girl exes.


So I found out something interesting… Straight little Hadley slept with Maxxie last night. So while they were having the time of their lives I was stuck in here getting my bandages changed by some nurse with fake tits. How do I know they were fake? They weren’t fucking moving. Like at all.

 I guess you could say I’m kind of bitter about the whole Hadley and Max thing. Can you blame me? I was in love with Maxxie. There’s a chance I might still be in love with the guy. And then there’s Hadley… I just want it to be like when we were kids again. Like when he used to go through my wardrobe and pick out all the clothes he wanted. Then when he’d actually grown enough to fit them, he didn’t want them anymore. And every single time he’d cry when Mom took them down to church or to the homeless shelter.

 I guess I just need to get back on the scene again. I’m guessing booze’ll be out of the question though since they’ve got me on all these meds. But hey, if the All Time Low boys are in town again maybe we can hang. Or I could call up Pete. They probably think I’ve died or something.

 Why did I never take Maxxie to meet some of them? I mean, I got pretty pally with the guys in innerpartysystem not long before I met him. It would’ve blown his little fangirl cover if I’d hooked them up.

 I know who Hadley’d wanna meet. At least, I know who he would’ve wanted to meet like five years ago. Man, what if his taste in music’s completely changed? Oh God, what if his taste in music’s absolutely shit now? I got him into rock music when he was at the age most little kids want to be in a boy band. Kid even started learning guitar from John. Granted John was still learning as well. And his guitar was kinda too big for Hads.

 Okay, since when did this thing turn into like my memoirs? I should probably stop rambling…




P.S. Doc, I’ma use this bit to talk to you, okay? I know you read this, don’t deny it. I just thought of how I can prove I’m not anorexic.

 Every Saturday morning when I was a kid, me and Hadley used to go to iHop and order loads of pancakes and waffles and shit. Caleb used to come sometimes. Anyway, I kept on doing that up until I met Maxxie to try and relive some of the memories.


Suck it.

The End

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