How do you stop yourself from wondering why you’ve been so sexually awkward for the past nineteen years? You got to iHop, of course. Well, you have your irresponsible ginger friend act like a mom long enough to bully you into clothes so you can go to iHop.
So that was where we were. After his momentous display of responsibility, Caleb sat sulking at the table and neglecting the food he’d reluctantly ordered. I sat chowing down on some pancakes and Maxxie with his waffles. Caleb kept glaring every now and then.
Maxxie nudged him. "Cheer up"
"Fuck you" he grumbled.
"I know you wanna fuck me, but you're s'posed to wait for Lex," Maxxie grinned, earning a scowl from Caleb.
I leant over and stole a forkful of Maxxie’s waffles. He chuckled but didn’t complain. Even if he did it wouldn’t have gotten his waffles back, I’m fucking starving. Caleb kept on scowling.
"Dude, how do we get hyper Caleb back? Scowly Caleb is disturbing" Maxxie said to me.
"Well, the fastest way would be to give him sex or drugs"
"I already gave him my debit card, what more could an eighteen year old want?" he laughed.
"This eighteen year old would quite happily fuck someone where he's sitting" Caleb said moodily.
"Poor bubba. I'd help, but I don't think Bunny or Lex would be too pleased"
"Bunny wants to know why he's still being called Bunny" I said, frowning a tiny bit.
Maxxie giggled. "Caleb started it"
"No sex for Caleb"
Caleb glared and sort of punched me in the arm.
"Hands off the Bunny" Maxxie said.
Caleb flashed him a look just short of a glare. "Piss off"
Maxxie hugged me. "My Bunny"
Caleb rolled his eyes and Maxxie grinned.
"Seriously, if you want it so bad, get me drunk again, I'm sure I'll be perfectly willing" he giggled, "unless Bunny doesn't want to share me"
"Does Bunny have much choice?" I asked, holding back a sigh.
"Dunno. Depends on the likelihood of me getting raped by your friend"
"Judging by the glare it's me that'd be getting raped"
Maxxie laughed slightly.
"Y'know what? Fuck both of you, this isn't funny" Caleb snapped.
"Chillax, Caleb," Maxxie smiled, "I was being serious when I said I'd be willing if Bunny was happy to share. I don't much like grumpy Caleb"
"I don't care if Bunny's willing to share or not"
Maxxie shrugged and Caleb glared moodily at him. Maxxie just kissed me.
"Oh fuck off" Caleb shouted, standing up and pissing off somewhere.
Maxxie leant on me and sighed.
"I said I'd go see Cay again today, but I'm not really in the mood"
"So don't. I don't get why you go anyway"
He picked at what was left on his plate. "He doesn't get any other visitors" he shrugged, "I forgave him for what happened"
"Is it any wonder why no one bothers to visit him?"
"You tell me. I quite happily chose to spend several months with him, and I'm still capable of seeing him as a friend"
"Dude, he cheated on you with a fucking creep"
"He didn't know he was a creep, or that the creep was using him. Alex cheated on me with some Latino bint, but I still forgave him"
He sort of shrugged and kept picking at his food.
"Gonna eat that?"
He pushed the plate over to me and I started eating. He smiled slightly and I blushed. "What?"
"What're you so smiley about?"
He shrugged. "Just glad to see your appetite's back"
I smirked. "Told you I was fine"
"So you did" he muttered.
I finished up his waffles and noticed he was being kinda quiet. "You okay?"
I pecked him on the lips and he kissed back with a smile.
"What's the plan for today then?" I asked.
"No idea. Any thoughts?"
He sat thinking for a while and I waited. He shrugged after a while. "We could go somewhere if you want. Dunno where. Somewhere out of Hollywood"
I considered it. "I want more pancakes"
"Get more then"
"You're not gonna have any money left soon"
"Why d'you think I'm selling my house?"
"Get another job, lazy"
"I've used that house once in three years and I'm not planning a trip to London any time soon. There's not much point in keeping it"
"You should still get a job"
I shrugged and he kind of rolled his eyes. I blushed slightly "I don't know what you're good at"
"Making coffee and whoring around. Not the most useful talents in the world"
"You have such a high opinion of yourself"
"I used to want to be an actor. So far in my acting career I've done one commercial and a couple of plays. I got fed up of not getting anywhere and accepted I'm not gonna be an actor"
"So you gave up completely"
"I gave up on life in general" he shrugged.
I frowned again. That’s kind of what I meant, Maxxie. He kissed me and I kind of kissed back.
I sighed. "Nothing"
He gave me this kind of worried look but I just smiled. He didn’t look especially convinced so I kissed him. He kissed back, trying not to look concerned.
"C’mon, we better go find Grumpy"
He nodded and got up. I stood up after wiping the last of the syrup off his plate with my finger and shoving it in my mouth. What can I say? I like syrup.