I get lost on the way to Cayden's new room. About five times. It wasn't so bad really - I went past the same drinks machine five times and got coffee every time.
Of course, when I get there, Cayden's fucking asleep. I'm awake for the first time in two days, and he's fucking zonked out on morphine or something.
I sit and wait for a while, but eventually, I remember him writing something in that diary of his last time I was here... I eye the notebook, wondering what it is he wrote that couldn't wait til I was gone.
Um, hey, Diary
So guess what I found out today. My boyfriend's a rapist. Fun.
I believe Maxxie but something just feels...
Speaking of Maxxie, I don't think he hates me anymore. Which is nice. I kind of miss him...
So, um, yeah. That's it, really.
Oh, and just for you, Doc: I'm not fucking anorexic."
But something just feels... what, Cay? I put the notebook back on the bedside cabinet and sigh.
I kind of wish I hadn't read that now... or that I wasn't so good at forgiving. He kind of misses me? Really? I frown to myself and chew on my lip, staring at the floor. I barely notice Cay's awake until he speaks.
"Wow, I didn't even need to poke my ribs." I look up sharply, the sudden break in the silence making me jump. He laughs at that and I scowl. "Aww, don't be like that." I relax back into the chair and wipe the scowl off my face again.
"How should I be, then?" I ask with a vague smile.
"Yeah... been finding that one a little difficult the past couple of weeks. Ask again when I'm less traumatised." I sort of smile though, just for the sake of it. He smiles back and I pull my knees up to my chest, hugging them there. "Well, anyways, you're the only person around that might appreciate the fact I'm not dying from sleep deprivation today, so here I am," I push another smile onto my lips. He frowns slightly.
"Well, Hadley fucked off and got lost, so I picked him up and dropped him off at mine, so he's probably gone back to sleep and Caleb built a fort in my living room. And he's too hyper about going to see Alex to care much about anything else."
"You better hope they don't show up with more morphine then."
"I won't be alone either way; I don't mind," I chuckle slightly.
"I'm sure sleeping Cayden's so fun to be around."
"Better than being on my own," I shrug. He gives me this sort of smile and I sigh.
"I'm here for hugs if you ever need them," he says and I manage a proper smile at that, mumbling a quiet "thank you".
"Want anything?" I ask as he yawns. He shakes his head and I search for something else to talk about. There's still only a couple of topics in mind, though - what happened with John, and my relationship with Hadley - neither of which I really want to talk about with Cayden. After a couple of minutes of quiet, Cay bites his lip. "You okay?"
"Yeah. It's you I'm worried about." I frown slightly.
"Why're you worried about me?"
"You're being really quiet."
I hadn't even realised, to be honest. I mean..."Aren't I usually quiet?"
"Not this quiet."
"Oh... sorry." I mutter. Well what else is there to say to that?
I pause for a moment, "I think I could do with one of those hugs, y'knnow."