"Tell you what, I'll give you a pillow if you tell me"
"Y'know what? My arm is just as good"
I prodded one of the pillows behind me. "But these are so soft"
He prodded his arm. "Softer than it used to be"
"Fresh from the dryer, they're still nice and toasty"
He smiled slightly. "I don’t want to talk about it Cay"
I gave him a worried look. "Why not?"
"Some things are just better left alone"
"Yeah and they're normally the kind of things that fuck up relationships"
"I don’t wanna talk about it and you won’t wanna hear it so let’s just drop it"
He shook his head, looking thoroughly uncomfortable. I sighed.
"Just don't hurt Hadley because of it"
"John... He... I-" he started and stared at the floor.
I waited but he shook his head.
"Tell me" I said softly.
"You’re really not going to like what I have to say"
"I don't care"
"You will when I tell you how it involves John using you"
I frowned a little bit. John hadn’t used me for anything…
"He- he said he didn't want you, that he split us up to get to me" he bit his lip, "and now i sound like an egotistical prick, but you can ask Hadley... He was there too. Like i said John'd kidnapped him"
I sat there kind of quiet, just replaying it through my head a couple times. "What happened?"
"Well after he snatched Hadley and no one believed me when I said he had him, I got very drunk and decided it would be a good idea to go demand Hadley back" he sniffled.
I nodded slightly.
"Well of course I was right, Hads was there. Your psycho boyfriend had him handcuffed to a chair in his boxers. And I was hardly gonna leave there without him"
I frowned slightly. Why the fuck did he have my baby bro handcuffed in his boxers?
"I sobered up pretty fucking quick when John told me what I had to do to get him back" he said, forcing himself to breathe right.
I sat up and winced slightly. I could tell he didn’t wanna say any more about it but I’m sorry, you can’t leave me with just that. “Maxxie"
He glanced up and I could see him trying not to cry. Okay, what fucking happened? I bit my lip and shifted over in the bed, which was slightly bigger than what I’d been in before.
"C'mere" I said softly.
He stood up and came over and I patted the space next to me since he didn’t seem to get what I’d meant. He sat with me and wiped at his eyes. I put an arm round him.
"Whatever it is, you can tell me"
He sniffled. "Yeah well his condition was that I fucked him right there in front of Hadley"
"What?" I asked. I didn’t really mean to ask it. It’s just one of those things you ask when you’re shocked, isn’t it?
"I didn’t. I couldn’t. But that exactly didn’t stop John from getting his way"
I frowned again. So he fucking did all that and then didn’t have the balls to even face me?
"Sorry. I know how much you care about him..."
I hugged him and he carefully hugged back. I didn’t need any sympathy, it’s not like he’d done anything to me.
"He's a dick" I mumbled.
"I knew the Catholic thing shoulda tipped me off ages ago" he said, sort of laughing weakly.
I smiled slightly at that.
"I just wanted Hadley back" he mumbled quietly.
"Ssh, it's okay"
"No it’s not. None of this would have happened if it weren’t for me"
"Hey, don't say that. It was me that made you come out here"
"It’s not your fault"
He laughed slightly and I kept on hugging him. I missed this kind of stuff. John wasn’t really a cuddling kind of person. I kissed his neck sort of by accident and let go of him. "Sorry"
"I sort of forgot we split up for a second there"
"It’s okay. The hug was appreciated"
I laughed slightly and he gave me a half smile.
"Alright, you've earned your pillow"
"I'm not sure I'll sleep, but thanks anyway"
I smiled and tried to pull a pillow out from underneath me but Maxxie stopped me.
"Don’t fuck your ribs up more just 'cause of me. "
"It's only my sexy chest that I can fuck up now. It's gonna have some awesome battle scars now anyway"
He sort of smiled and I chuckled.
He got a pillow and sat forward, hugging it and biting his lip a little. "So how're you gonna cope with me and Hadley being together now then?"
I shrugged. "Something tells me I'll be cooped up in here for a while so I guess I won't have to deal with it yet"
"And y'never know, if I don't think I can deal with it I can always fake anorexia, eh?"
He smiled. "Guess they don’t know just how much you actually eat then"
"It’s not a bad thing. You’re much easier to feed than Hadley"
"His appetite's all fucked up from whatever it is he's convinced he doesn’t have"
"Just keep dragging him down here. He'll give in eventually"
"I feel bad" he laughed slightly, "I think he's been traumatized enough without me forcing him here"
"I'd help out if I could"
"Thanks. I told him to come see you before he left but I'm guessing he didn’t."
I shook my head.
"Told you you should have spent some time repairing your relationship with him" he smiled weakly, "one day, eh?"
"I hope so"
I smiled and he smiled back.
"Have you got a pen?" I asked, wanting to write something in this “diary” even if it would make me feel like a girl.
"I can go get you one"
He put the pillow back and went off to get a pen. I tried to get comfy but my chest was having none of it. Maxxie came back and I sat up again as he gave me a pen. I opened the notebook and started writing. Maxxie sat on the chair and looked kind of curious. I finished my sentence and shut the notebook, grinning at him.
"Should i be worried?"
I shook my head.
He leant his head back on the wall. "I'm too tired to even try and find out what you wrote"
I smiled a little. "Then go to sleep, dumby"
I threw a pillow at him. Or really, I aimed a pillow at him and it hit the floor about a centimetre away from the edge of the bed.
He smiled and picked it up but ended up lying on the floor with it.
I laughed. "You're so weird"
"It’s more comfy down here than that chair. And trust me when you haven’t slept for two days anywhere is a potential bed"
I sighed dramatically. "Get up here"
"There’s not enough room"
"Yes there is, tubsy"
He whined and got up on the bed. "I'm not tubsy"
"You're tubsy compared to me"
He curled up and tried to take up as little space as possible. Cute. "I need to go back to the gym"
"Don't say that in here, they'll lock you up as well" I said, laughing a little.
He smiled. "I've let myself get unfit. I don't even know when that happened"
"I kept you too busy" I winked and he chuckled. "You wanna try whatever Hadley does. Apart from Ava, he's the only one Mom doesn't moan at about how much they weigh. Kid's even got some baby muscles, he's putting me to shame"
"I'm amazed he's not skinny, y'know. He doesn't fucking eat anything. Apart from carbonara. He ate that"
"He's just awesome like that"
He nodded and smiled tiredly.
I somehow managed to put an arm round him. "Get some sleep, tubsy"
"Mmm" he said, kind of snuggling up to me.
Even though it kind of twinged a bit I didn’t say anything. Because, after all, this was the only person who thought I was worthy of company.