Diana: Affirming the DecisionMature

The next day I got a sick sense of satisfaction seeing James and Zoe bickering outside registration - it looked like he had finally realised what sort of girl she was.

Last night, a letter had been posted anonymously through our letter box - ‘Wow, these people work fast,’ I’d thought as I’d anxiously watched my parents read through a summary of what Melanie had told James and I that morning.

There had been a long silence in which I could not have guessed what my parents were thinking. Finally, my mother had asked softly, “Is this what you want, honey?”

I had suddenly wondered if I was prepared to leave the home and the environment which was familiar to me as my own appearance in the mirror.

‘Will I be able to stay in contact with them?’ I’d asked myself, frightened the answer could be no. Despite that I knew that my parents were slightly fearful of my power, despite the way I’d always been a loner at school and quite frankly in need of a fresh start with people better qualified to understand me, I worried about the size of this change and the potential consequences of attending this Institute. ‘I’m going to be all alone at first,’ I realized.

“Does it say I can ring you?” I had asked my mother nervously.

Mom had smiled sadly.

“Yes, it says they have computers set up with Skype so you can call us for free, they’ll allow you to take your mobile phone with you and if you’re really unhappy they’ll send you home no problem.”

I had swallowed hard. Walking up to my mother, I had hugged her, feeling the weight of my decision bearing down on my shoulders. ‘But if I say no now,’ I’d thought, ‘I might never get this opportunity again. And if my life doesn’t experience this big change, who’s to say that it will change at all? Am I more scared of change or non-change?’

I’d stepped away, feeling a little surer than before.

“I’d like to go,” I’d told her.

My mother had taken a breath and nodded.

“We’ll fetch you the second you sense something wrong,” she had promised.

And that had been that.

Now in school I was heading to my first period class.

‘This is my last week of school,’ I thought giddily. …

And then, ‘How will they arrange our schooling at the institute?”

The End

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