After I left Grace I sat around for a while on my own. When Astrid came out she looked close to tears. She went quickly away into the forest, Aria standing up and following her. I looked around at the others. Flare, Melody, Phoebe and Thalia were deep in their conversation, Grace was still in her tent, so I stood up and carefully followed Aria. I knew that she had crazy good hearing, and I didn't want to be found, so I lagged behind a lot more than I would have liked to. I arrived where they were just as Astrid was starting her story.
"It was before I came to Athens School." she began. She went on to tell the story of her love. "'...it was necccessssssary for him to die...to break your sssspirit!' and she vanished behind a passing bus. I returned back to Athens School, puzzled by her words." Astrid finished. After she said that Aria said,
"Interesting...as to why a gorgan wanted to, as you put it 'break your spirit' I have no idea." Aria frowned, studied Astrid, then said, "And from what I can gather off you...she may just have succeeded." I ran away after that, no longer caring if I had been heard. I interrupted Thalia, who was in the middle of speaking to Flare.
"I have something important to tell you!" and then I pulled her away, into our own secluded part of the forest. I repeated what I had heard, than made the comment,
"Aria just told Astrid that her spirit has been broken! She's too concerned in her own loss than in any of us! That's another very good reason why I would be a better leader than her!" Thalia looked exasperated.
"We already went over this," she said. "You. Are. Not. Fit. To. Be. The. Leader. Even though I'm the leader of the Elite 4 does not instantly give you the right to lead the others! If you bother me about it again we'll send you back, and you won't be part of saving the world. You're so worried about this, your more unstable to lead than Astrid is! If you led everything would go out of wack! So NEVER mention it again." than she went back to camp. I sat there, fuming, and let my mind wander.
I found myself thinking about my family. I hadn't seen them in 3 years, ever since I arrived at Athens School. As far as I knew, nothing bad had happened to them...well, no yet. I left the subject, letting myself think about my friends...was that the right word? I didn't know anymore. I never used to have doubts about them being my friends...
I thought about each of us in turn.
Astrid: she's mysterious at times...rebellious at others. Firey, but can also be gentle. She's wiser than the rest of us, the oldest of the 4. She's a natural leader (maybe that's what bothers me so much) and can even come across as cold at times. But she understands Grace. Grace relies on her, as does Flare, though not as much. I should be relying on her too, why am I not?
Flare: she can always make me laugh, she's so bubbly, bright and fun! She's so sweet, an overall charmer, and intelligent. But she can be shy. She's been shyer around me than she was before. I wonder why that is. She's been my best friend since we met. It doesn't seem like that anymore.
Grace: she's so gentle, kind and...sweet natured. She's shy to everyone, doesn't confide often, but she's also outgoing, willing to go out of her comfort zone to please somebody. She's loving, understanding and determined. And sensitive. She can read others emotions well...Astrid's, Flare's and mine better than others. She has relied on Astrid constantly since we left the school, and Astrid has looked out for her in return. She seems younger than she is at time because of how vurnurable she can be.
And lastly I thought about myself: I found myself as intelligent, calm and rational. My mind rules my emotions...that makes me less rational and calm at times. From reactions to others it seems as though I'm aloof, insensitive and unsympathetic. As of right now...I'm sad to say, that I can see that as true. I am being insensitive and unsympathetic...
After going through us all I realized that Astrid is the right one for the job as the leader. Grace relies on her, and seems scared of me, especially of late...
I found myself needing to change.