I don’t need this, I can’t take this and I won’t take this. I sighed and I realised how true those words were, I don’t want him. I looked around; I didn’t have anything to carry to the airport, I had nothing to take with me. The only thing I needed was a place to go... where could I go? Hmm, I could go back to England, or possibly somewhere new... I was trying to think when Ben interrupted me, “He knows how to over react and you know how to confuse the fuck out of a guy."
"I also know how to leave and how to kill someone without leaving any fingerprints. I didn't try to kill him, my father's dead." I growled, it was good to finally tell someone, you may be thinking, what the hell? Well, I knew how Luca would overreact, so I allowed him to live, he was just a ticking time bomb, his mind exploded as soon as he got out of the drive, I then led Luca the opposite way.
"You still shouldn't have pulled a stunt like that in front of him."
"What the fuck do I care?" He should have slept when I told him to, idiot.
"Did you never give a shit about the kid?"
"None, whatsoever," my voice was so cold I even surprised myself.
"So what was the point in any of what you've done over the last few months? You nearly saved him and you just pushed him right back!" his eyes sparked angrily
"It's fun to toy with people like puppets." I grinned.
He shook his head and walked over to the door. "I'm gonna go look for him."
"You're going nowhere." I stated the evil smirk on my face.
I pulled him away from the door and he gazed at me angrily, "Why the fuck not? As much as he winds me up sometimes, he's still a friend."
I froze his mind, freezing him still. "Hmm, you're right... but what were you to me, hmm?" I asked, circling round him. "You tried to rape me, screwed me and screwed over my relationship with Luca, yet you claim it was me that pushed him back?" I smiled. "I don't like being blamed, Benny-boy." I felt the evilness course through me. Each beat of my heart making the adrenaline flow faster.
"I didn't make you pull a stupid stunt like that, though. You weren't exactly saying no when I fucked you, either. Let me go, Gemme." Stupid stunt, ha, the man deserved to die, as for not saying no? Call me a black widow; I feed on broken hearts and sorrow.
"Hmm, no," I smiled, pulling a gun from the bedside table, Luca's, I had taken it with me when I told him to leave it, I did see Benny being killed, but not by a woman in a purple kimono... it all fitted so well.
His eyes widened, alarmed. "Christ, Gemme, I'm sorry! What do you want from me?" I had let him get too close to me, he knew too much. I wasn’t the happy go lucky girl you thought I was, I told you me and Ike is polar opposites. If he’s the happy smiling one, think about it, what does that make me?
"Your blood, Benny, spilled over my hands and this floor. Too bad you won't die with a smile on your face." Hmm, what a shame, I bet he wished he had left when he saw me.
"Gemme," he tried to make his tone calm, though his voice shook, "think about what you're about to do. I'm sorry about what happened, okay? Please, just put the gun down."
I laughed, poking him with the barrel, letting it rest on his chest, above his heart. "Or you'll do what? What am I about to do? What are the consequences?"
His heartbeat shuddered along the gun, racing unnaturally fast. "If you want me gone, I'll go. I won't even come back to America, if that's what you want. You never have to see me again, just please don't fucking kill me!"
I brought my lips to his ear. "Come on, you wanted to die with a smile on your face, show me that smile." I pulled away, giving him the puppy dog eyes that were juxtaposed with my sadistic smile.
"Please don't do this," he whispered his fear almost tangible, thick in the air. I rolled my eyes and pushed my lips to his, withdrawing the barrel from his chest a little, but I didn't unfreeze him. I only pulled back the barrel to try and make him relax, so it wasn’t jabbing his chest. Unable to move, he couldn't kiss back, instead he simply closed his eyes, silently begging me to change my mind. "I loved you Ben and you ripped out my heart, now I'm going to do the same to you."
"I know, it was a terrible, terrible mistake and I'm so sorry I did what I did, but can’t you let me live with the knowledge of what I did on my conscience for the rest of my life rather than this?" To see him beg like this was pathetic and I was sick of it, so, as I shook my head I pushed the barrel back into his chest and unfroze him.
"Any last words, anything you want me to tell a loved one?" Not that I would anyway, but at least he could die knowing they might know. I dunno why I said that, I guess it was just for affect. His hand snapped out, grabbing my wrist and forcing my arm upwards. He reached up, trying to pry the gun out of my fingers.
My fingers pulled on the trigger, shooting the ceiling and I growled, dropping the gun in shock. "Bad Boy Benny," I tutted as I looked up at him with a snarl. He kicked the gun aside, letting go of me in a flash as he darted for the door. I froze him again and sighed, walking calmly to the bed as I reached under it and picked up the gun, I slammed the door shut and as sirens could be heard outside I cursed. "I could have given you a week to live, perhaps a month if you played on my better half, but you had to run."
“Can you blame me? You've gone fucking psycho!"
"I haven't gone anything, I was always like this." I sighed, "Good bye, Ben." I mumbled as I made his life with me flash before his eyes. From when I was sat in his tattoo parlour, to the bit where he consoled and screwed me, to when he tried to rape me, when he moved in with us, when he unknowingly sat for me, when he made my relationship with Luca crumble. To when I was burning my paintings and he pulled me away. I ended with the moment in the dress shop, where he over stepped his bounds. I closed the door, resting against it. "Damn it, I can't do it. You mean too much to me." I cried, throwing the gun to the floor.
He breathed a tentative sigh of relief. "Thank you," he mumbled.
I sunk to the floor, pulling my knees up to my chest. "I love you. I can't do this. I can't." I sobbed, unfreezing him.
He crouched in front of me and swallowed nervously. "Want a hug?" Yes, I do, but not by someone who I just tried to kill! The only reason he was still here was because I’m sat in the doorway.
"I just tried to kill you!" I growled, hitting my knees furiously.
"Yeah, I noticed."
I growled again wordlessly. "How could I even think of doing such a thing?"
"No point asking me."
"Oh, God, forgive me Ben. I'm so, so, sorry!"
"Well, I think it's safe to say I've learnt my lesson about sleeping with girls that are taken," he laughed awkwardly.
"But I'm not anymore am I?"
"You'll have to ask Cancer that."
"He's not coming back." I sobbed, reaching my arms out for him. "Please... if it's not too much to ask." He wrapped his arms around me and I leant into his chest. "Fuck. I'm sorry."
"Shh. You can buy me a drink to make up for it later. Fuck knows I'm gonna need it."
"Just a drink? I should buy you a whole new life or something! I'm so, so, so, so, so sorry!"
"Lots of drinks."
I laughed. "I don't know how you can be so jokey."
"I think I'm in shock."
"God, I love you... I love you too much to do that!" I don’t know what came over me. I pulled him closer to me, one hand moving from his back to his chest, feeling his heart beneath his flesh. "I'm a psycho and I don't think I deserve your company. The only reason you're here is because I'm sat in front of the door.” He was silent, silently considering telling me I need help. "I know, I know I need help. I'm gonna move out of your way so you can leave." I sighed, shuffling out the way of the door.
"I'm not so sure you should be alone, right now."
"Why? What d'ya think I'm gonna do?" I sighed, I ‘d love for you to tell me, because I sure as hell don’t know.
"... I dunno."
"Don't think of me; don't care about me, one person made that mistake." I sighed, pushing myself up wobbly.
He moved back, sitting on the edge of the bed. "You can't live alone, though," he mumbled uncertainly.
"Because you'll go even more insane," he laughed, but there was an edge of hysteria to it.
"I don't think you can get any worse, but I promise, I'll be okay, perhaps you would like to still return with me, once you've finished your trip...?" I wondered cautiously.
"I'll... I’ll think about it."
"Then I'll be home alone, stop contradicting yourself!" I moaned.
"I didn't necessarily mean me, Gemme. You did just nearly kill me."
"Then live with who, no one would want to stay with me."
"That's up to you."
"Argh! I just want Luca back!"
"Go and get him back then."
"No, I won't put him through that. I can't, he deserves better. I think I'm just gonna go home."
"I think you'll find it's the other way around. You deserve someone that isn't gonna break your heart every ten seconds and turn you into a murderous psycho."
"No. No, that's not true. He deserves someone better. I'm gonna go back to South Carolina, he'll be better without me." I sighed, pulling open the door.
"If you say so."
"Trust me. You'll see it too. I love you, Ben."
"Yeah," he smiled weakly, "love you too, sis."
I smiled back just as weakly. "You know where I'll be."
"Yeah... I'll come back for my birthday," he promised. I nodded.
“Yeah, I’ll hold you to it.”