I'm only half asleep when feel the bed sink a little as Gemme climbs in, and I smile slightly, putting my arm out to hug her to me. She hugs me back silently and I open one eye long enough to kiss her on the top of the head.
"I love you." I whisper, closing my eye again.
"I love you too, Luca," she replies quietly, and I lie there for a while, saying nothing. Something still feels a bit weird. Maybe that's just me, but it doesn't feel like things are how they should be. I guess nothing's gonna be completely normal for a while yet, but...
"You okay?" I ask eventually.
"Umm, yes. Why?" she questions and I don't answer, instead I open my eyes, looking at her critically, not convinced. "What?"
"Nothing," I mutter, closing my eyes again. Gemme pokes me and my eyes fly open again. No pokey!
"Luca, what did you think was wrong?" she insists and I half shrug.
"I dunno, probably just being paranoid. It's nothing." It just feels like you still wish you weren't here. I mean, you ran away again and I dragged you back again. Kinda. You didn't really want to come back the first time when you tried to run away and I'm not convinced you want to be back this time either.
"Well, other than the fact I'm a little upset Benny's leaving and that my nightgown is far too small, I'm fine."
"What's wrong with your nightgown being small? You're sleeping in it, not wandering around outside in it..."
"Because it makes me look sluttish," she replies. Oh, Christ. I've given her a fear of potentially looking like a slut, haven't I? Fuck. I didn't mean to, Gemme. I'm sorry. I kiss her lips gently and tighten my arm around her slightly.
"You're in bed; no one cares what you look like."
"Thanks, but it's still nice to look alright." I sigh. I'm too tired for this. Closing my eyes, I smile slightly.
"Okay. Let's sleep, instead of argue, yeah?"
"Yeah." She agrees. "I wasn't going to argue." I just smile again and let the world fade away.
Once again, I wake up first, my arm still around Gemme, though she's turned over in the night to face the same way as me, pushing herself up against me. This time, though, she's quiet and I smile, feeling her breaths rise and fall. I lean over and kiss her on the cheek, before getting up to have a shower. As I move away, she whines slightly and wriggles under the covers, but doesn't wake up.
I end up wearing my black skinny jeans and the white shirt again, and kinda regret it after about five minutes, when I realize I got sand in my pants. Urgh. I can't be bothered to take them off and shake them out, so I ignore it and go back into the bedroom.
Gemme's awake when I go back in, and I smile at her, sitting on the bed with her. She smiles back, propping herself up on the pillows.
"Good morning," she murmurs.
"Hi. Good sleep?" I ask the first thing that comes to mind. To be honest, I don't know what else I could say.
"Yeah, you?" I just nod, shuffling so I'm sitting next to her, rather than opposite her. I slouch far enough to rest my head on her shoulder again. God, I've missed you, Gemme. I slip one arm around her waist between her and her pillows and just sit there quietly. "You're so warm." She comments, pulling up the top of her nightgown. She didn't need to do that. I sigh and lift my head up again, leaning back against the wall.
"Sorry," I mutter.
"No, it's not a bad thing." She laughs slightly, "In fact, I was feeling rather cold." She mumbles the last few words and I glance up at her.
"That wasn't what I was apologising for," I say awkwardly.
"What were you apologising for?" Come on Gemme, you're the mind reader here. Don't make me spell it out.
"You- you pulled your top up," I stammer slightly, not really knowing how to put it into words. "You don't need to cover up, or anything." Because I didn't mean to make you afraid of looking like a slut. Suddenly, knowing I'm to blame just makes me want to crawl away and hide for the rest of my life.
"Oh! It's habit I guess, but I know," she laughs, "you've already seen everything." I fail at making what's in my head come out of my mouth when I want it to, don't I?
"Yeah," I force a smile. "I'm hungry," I mutter, pushing myself up again, "want something?"