Izzy's is quiet for the first hour or so, and then someone I don't recognize lets himself in. Guess Izzy knows him well enough to give him a key, though. He walks in and stops dead as he sees me sitting on the sofa with a smoke, the TV on in the background.
"Who the fuck are you?" he asks. I just glance up at him and look back at the TV.
"Cancer," I mutter through a lungful of smoke.
"Cancer?" he repeats incredulously.
"Yeah," I look back up at him. "What's it to you? I don't know who you are." My eyes narrow as I look at him. He's tall, maybe the same height as me, short, dark, curly brown hair, tanned skin. Looks like he should be on a basketball team or something.
"I'm Craig. Mate bailed me out of jail earlier." Ohhh, so you're Izzy's fuck buddy?
"Mmm, Izzy doesn't shut up about you when enough people are smoking weed in here. She gets chatty when she's high, doesn't she?" I half smile, glad for the distraction from my head. Up til now, it's just been me, my thoughts and the TV.
Craig laughs and agrees and we kinda get talking, and as much as I want to take drugs still, chatting to him about random crap keeps my mind occupied.
Until Ben sends me a text.
"Gemme's gone. I suggest you find her." I stare at it for a moment, my face turning into a mask of disbelieving horror.
"What's up?" Craig asks.
"Uh... My- my girlfriend just ran away. I gotta go. Tell Izzy why I've gone when she gets back," I scrabble to my feet, grab my bag and leave before he can argue.
"Gemme!" I yell at her in my head, my voice not angry, just confused and hurt. It's harder to hide your tone of voice in your head, I guess. She doesn't answer. Why's she ignoring me?
Car. I need a car. I've stolen too many cars recently. Maybe Craig has a car...
"Craig!" I call, pushing back through the front door.
"Have you got a car I can borrow?" he smiles wryly at me.
"There's a hotwired Alpha Romeo out there. Take that."
"Cheers," I mutter, racing back outside. I see the car and get inside, fumbling with the wires, slipping as I try not to hit something. I sit back and make the wires twist together with telekinesis, steering and controlling the pedals the same way as I pull my phone out.
Benny picks up and I don't bother with hello. "Why the fuck did you just let her go?" I roar into the phone.
"She said you'd never look for her! I said you would and told her to prove me wrong." I growl at his reason.
"Does she still not believe I'd go after her?!"
"No!" For fuck's sake, Gemme. You were the one that told me to set the speed and now look. "She drove off in a Ferrari. It shouldn't be too hard to spot her. Not that I know what direction she went." I sigh.
"Fat lot of good you are, Benny." I mutter and hang up. I have an idea, though. That memory. The one of the beach. She wanted the beach back.
So, on a hunch, I speed onto the 26, heading for the coast again.
I just hope I'm right.
"Christ, Gemme. Do you honestly believe I don't want things to get better?" my mind wonders, projecting the searching question towards her as I push the car hard down the highway. Still she ignores me and I bite on my lower lip a little, wondering how I can get her to speak to me again. "Did I do something wrong? Am I not trying hard enough? Please talk to me, Gemme..." I can't believe I'm pleading with her. It's like pleading with a brick wall.
"Why?" she whispers so quietly I almost miss it.
"What d'ya mean why? I love you, that's why."
"I'd say I love you too... but if that was true, I shouldn't have slept with someone else and torn our relationship asunder." ... So does she want me or not? Is it possible to be much more confused than I am right now? I don't think it is.
"Running away won't help. I said I'd look for you if you did and I'm looking right now..." I pause. I dunno what to say. What is there to say when the person who gave you hope and some faith and their love runs away from you?
"I didn't think you'd come." No, well who would believe a drug addict that find emotions hard to deal with? I'm still driving with telekinesis, because - as embarrassing as this is - I can't help the panicked tears blurring my vision right now.
I want her back, and I don't know how to get her back. If she wouldn't even believe me when I said I'd look for her, then why would she believe me when I say I love her and I want things to get better?
"Yeah well... why would you believe me, huh?" I mutter quietly, pulling into a gas station as the fuel needle hovers just above the zero. Being stranded on a highway with no car would be a bad thing when you're supposed to be chasing after someone you want back.
"Everything we do turns into a fight. I'm not a fighter, Luca, I'm a flier. I flee everything that comes my way. Running is all I'm good for." I pay for the gas, as I listen to this, trying desperately to hide my eyes as the cashier gives me a weird look. I'm quiet for a while. Because she's right, isn't she? Everything, even the beach turned into a fight.
"I know..." I mumble eventually, "but it was never gonna be easy with someone like me, was it?" You're the only person that believed I could ever be any good for anything, Gemme. Please, please don't leave me like this...
"I know and for a while, it was okay, it worked, I had found absolution. But then I lost it all by a stupid mistake."
"You didn't lose it all, though. I want you still, and I love you, I do... it's just hard. We both know I don't deal with emotions well as it is, and after what Emily did, I was so afraid it'd happen again. Please... you managed to be patient with me before..." I don't even know what I'm saying any more. My hand's shaking too hard to even light my cigarette.
"I don't know... Luca; I hope I can muster more patience. I really do." Yeah, good luck with that. I won't be surprised if you turn around and tell me no. I've already pushed you too far.
"I don't even know where you're going... Where are you? I'm just... driving blindly, hoping I'll come across you." I really hope I'm right about where she's heading for.
"Beach," she whispers sadly. "First thing my mind came to." I was right then... I don't see a Ferrari anywhere though.
"Will you meet me in the parking lot there?" I ask tentatively. Please say yes. I never realised how much I needed you.
God, I sound like I'm reciting lines from a shitty romance film.
But it's true.
"Yeah," she mutters after a while and I close my eyes for a moment, praying my temper will hold out when I see her.