I got up after him, grabbing his arm loosely I nudged him round. I reached up, my face inches from his before I blushed, it had become so natural to me I didn’t even think as I made the action, I pulled away, He moved his lips just out of reach and kissed my forehead instead. "I need to think for a bit, okay? I'll be back later." closing my eyes and cursing myself in my head about what I was just about to do.
"Yeah, I’m sorry."
“Don't stay out in the rain waiting for me this time, eh?" he half smiled and turned away, starting to walk again.
I nodded, deciding to test my luck a little. "Do you think I could get a slight hug before you go... for old times?"
He twisted around to face me once more. "How’s about a hug for a new start, hmm?" he muttered, opening his arms for me. I smiled softly, still hints of sorrow lining my lips. I took a few steps toward him and met his arms with my own, twining them round his waist. He kissed the top of my head gently and I began to whimper, my bottom lip quaking slightly as I mumbled another apology.
"I know," he muttered, hesitating a moment before pulling away. "Think I'll get out of the door this time?"
"Not if I have anything to do with it," I half-laughed, following him as he walked away in the direction of the door.
"It's not like I won't be back, Gemme. Please, I really do need to just sit and think for a while.
"I know. I know, it's a massive step for you to trust me like that, in fact, I don't know how you did it. But thank you. I hope you get everything sorted out."
"Yeah well considering what happened to the last girl that cheated on me, I think you got off pretty lightly," he muttered as he got into the car.
I shuddered slightly, the thought unnerving for a moment as I stood in the doorway before I nodded, waving at him as he pulled out. "Come back soon!" I called after him. He lifted a hand and half smiled, before speeding off down the road.
I closed the door behind him, but did not lock it, I ran upstairs and shrugged off my drenched clothes I traded them for a warm shower and some cleaner clothes. Then I sat on our bed, thinking. He had forgiven me, with just a little stroke he had forgiven me. It was everything I wanted, it’s just I don’t know how he could do it. I had reconciled with Ben, Luca, everything was fine. I just needed a little more time to understand why I did that, what I wanted to do, where I wanted to go.
I lay down on our bed, the scent of Luca still fresh on the covers. I curled up, taking in the scent, the memories. I did not want Luca back.
I needed him back.
Now I had experienced him in my life I could not think of a life otherwise. I placed my hand softly upon the spot where he used to lay and smiled. He had come back, by some miracle and he had come back to me. I should make a vow. I will make a vow.
I will never cheat on him, he is everything to me and I don’t need anything more. I will be everything to him and help him as best I can, I would give anything for him... he already has.
I rolled over again, looking up to the ceiling. I will help you Luca, “I love you, so much.”