I had no idea what I was going to do; where I was going to go...I instantly wanted to go to Cameron, to see Luca. I just want one, last chance. I opened the door to the house, running upstairs I looked at the now plump Cosmo. “I’ll be back soon then we’ll move somewhere totally new.” He nodded, purring slightly. I kissed his forehead and he licked my cheek. I wanted to go into the hospital to say a final goodbye, properly this time, to Ben, then to Cameron for Luca. Then home, to England, away from all this.
So, I picked up Cosmo, walking toward the hospital. After a little while Cosmo yowled and I put him down, there he walked along the walls beside me. I thought as we walked, about Ben. I guess it was me that loved him a little, I think Nigh just blew that out of proportion. I wanted to see him, say goodbye properly, have I already said that? I’m sorry. I told Cosmo to stay here and he nodded. I had bought him a salmon from the shop so he should’ve been quite content.
When I got to the hospital, I asked to see Ben, I didn’t even need to use my powers and they believed me when I said I was his girlfriend. They told me his room and for a moment I stood outside. I wanted to go in, but I didn’t want to see him in such a bad condition, then I guess it would be better than earlier when he was laid on the floor in pieces. I sighed, knocking on the door. It took a few moments for him to answer, it took even longer for me to actually go in and even then I lingered behind the door for a while.
I composed myself, trying to place a soft smile on my lips; I adjust my clothes and pushed my hair back behind my ears. I tried to forget about Luca just for this moment, just for this last moment. I peered through the window, he wasn’t on any tubes or anything, he had a pot on one of his arms and he had stitches in his forehead. “Oh Ben, I’m sorry.” I whispered, before shaking my head. I could see the confused look on his face as he called for me to come in again; I hope I didn’t shock him too much.
I pushed open the door, hanging in the now open doorway for a while. I still wasn’t completely sure why I had come here, but when I looked on him I felt so, so terrible. But the room was nice, he had a bed to himself and the window let through a lot of bright light. Flowers were in a glass vase beside him and I could see his clothes folded in a little hole beneath one of the bedside tables. Ben was in the crisp, white bed, wearing one of those backless-dress things and he was propped up by a bunch of pillows. He looked up when he finally heard me open the door and smiled, "Hey, Gemme."
"Hey." I whispered, very quietly. My mousey voice had returned again. I walked forward hesitantly after closing the door behind me.
"How're you doing?" What a stupid question, I would have argued but instead I found myself sticking with the simple comeback:
"I think I should be asking you that don't you?"
"I'm fine. I'm always fine, you know me," he said, pushing him up a little further as he grimaced a little as he jolted his ribs. "You didn't catch up with Cancer, then?"
"Luca..." I trailed going blank for a moment before I shook my head. "No, I wanted to say goodbye properly before I left for England. I'm going home."
"Oh... I hope Cancer comes to his senses before you leave." he muttered, like that would ever happen. I wanted to make sure Ben was okay first, so it would take a few days before I could actually leave. I also needed to book tickets, if only everything could be like it was in the movies where they get up and leave.
Plus, "I doubt he'd ever want to see me again."
He closed his eyes for a moment, before opening them and looking back up at me. "He will. Cancer doesn't say 'I love you' unless he means it. He was angry... that's not a strong enough word, but you know what I mean. But yeah, he was angry and he said some stupid things that I doubt he meant. I shouldn't have let what happened happen, though, so I'm as much to blame for me being laid up like this as he is."
"Well, I don't want to make this any harder. I will wait to make sure you're okay, then I'll book my ticket and leave." I sighed, taking his hand as I looked down to the floor, I squeezed it softly, I enjoyed it actually.
"Chin up, babe. He'll come back when he's ready."
I shook my head, "I don't want to put him through anything like this again." I mumbled, biting back tears again, "I don't want to put him through having someone like me."
"Don't be stupid," he smiled, squeezing my hand slightly, "C'mon, gimme a hug while the morphine is still working."
I gave a short, weak laugh before leaning over him, wrapping my arms around his waist, resting my head on his chest. I whimpered slightly, wiping my eyes. "Ben..." I murmured, nestling my head closer to his chest.
"Ah!" He grunted as I settled, but he didn't move, simply putting his good arm around me. "You'll be alright."
"I don't think so, but thank you for your optimism."
"Well someone's gotta be looking at the bright side, or we'll all be fucked," he began to laugh, but it turned into a pained cough. "That was a bad idea. Don't let me laugh again."
"Okay." I nodded, laughing for him. "I feel so bad for what happened to you, what's worse is I've found a part of me that still loves you. Perhaps, I would like you more as a brother."
He looked down at me, running a hand through my hair, "Even though we've had sex, Huh, maybe just good friends, eh?"
"Sex has nothing to do with it." I shook my head. "I mean, I love you, I do and as much as I convinced myself to say goodbye I can't. I'm sorry." I smiled as best I could.
"Hey, well if you want a brother that can't go through your head, you know where I am," he smiled. "It doesn't have to be a permanent goodbye, either."
I grinned, moving back so I could see him again. "I wish it didn't have to be goodbye at all." I sniffed, but smiled genuinely all the same. "Do you mind if I stay with you tonight?"
"You know I don't mind. You'll have to ask the nurse though."
"I don't have to ask anybody, no one will know I'm here." I laughed, tapping my head slightly.
He smiled, closing his eyes again as he resisted the urge to laugh. "Why do I keep forgetting that?" He looked up at me with a mock accusing look. "You're too normal to be a freaky psychic girl, y'know."
"It's okay, I know." I smiled, resting my head on his lap. "I love you." I smiled.
"Yeah, love you too. Like a sister, right?"
I nodded. "I'm not a bad sister... just, messed up."
"I know you're not a bad sister. You're my gorgeous, sexy sister, who really deserves a more stable guy in her life," he smiled.
"Unfortunately, no others will last as long as I." I sighed. "Just the thought of losing you..." I shuddered.
"Pfft. I'm only twenty one. I got a ways to go yet." Yeah, but you only plan to live till
"And thank God!" I cried, shaking my head. "But still, for now, I won't leave you."
"Hmm..." he fell quiet for a few moments. "Aren't there any others like you guys? I mean, it seems a bit of a coincidence that there just happens to be a couple of immortal people hanging around in the same town. There must be others that'll last like you will. Maybe one of them will be more stable," he smiled.
"There are 13 of us, we are zodiacs. I am Gemini, with my brother, Luca is umm...Cancer. We are all immortal and we all have different powers." I explained. "Unfortunately, however I cannot choose who I love. Just eternity like this will be a pain in the butt."
"Huh, I never realised his nickname was for more than the reason he smokes too much," Ben smiled. "Shame ya fell for most fucked up one, eh? Still, I'm pretty sure he'll come around soon enough. He'll start trying again."
"I probably won't be here when he does." I sighed, tucking my arms beneath my head, "I guess, being Gemini I'm like a doll, I break too easily."
"Hmm... one of my ex girls was into astrology and all that stuff. Her friend was a Cancer. She kept going on about how Cancers are family people and caring, even if they can be moody little shits at time. Something like that anyways." he smiled.
"Thanks for that, made me feel loads better." I sighed, rolling my eyes. "I know, when I found out I researched us. We are the second generation, the first people died, but not before leaving some info behind."
"Well at least if he really is ruled by his star sign then he's more likely to come back than I though," he muttered, half shrugging. "Maybe I should shut up now, the morphine's probably making me talk a load of shit."
"You're more right than you think, but yeah, it's getting late, I should be going." I lifted my head to him and I winked, disappearing. “Sneaky,” he smiled and I appeared again, only to him. “Just remember, I’m not here.”