I can't help but overhear the "I love you"s and the shock of the words paralyses me. They keep talking for a bit, but I don't listen, stunned by her words. Eventually, Gemme drops the illusion and I can see them on the bench, dressed and just talking. I jump down off the bench and walk around behind them.
"Hey, Benny!" I yell in his ear angrily. They jump, surprised by my sudden appearance. I shove the knife in his hand and walk around in front of them. "Why don't you stab me in the back for real for once?!" I shout, turning around to give him complete access to my back. Gemme doesn't say anything.
"Cancer, what the fuck are you doing?" Benny asks. I turn back around.
"What does it look like I'm doing?" I hiss, trying not to hurt Gemme. I said I wouldn't. But it's getting harder not to.
"It looks like you're high, and you're being a complete fuckwit, that's what it looks like," he says. I laugh.
"I'm not high, Benny, I'm just really fucking pissed off!"
"He's not high. He's been betrayed." Gemme whispers under her breath, bringing her knees up to her chest. My gaze snaps to her and my hand twitches as I fight the instinct to punch her.
"Too fucking right! You love him? You love him?!" Honestly, words can't describe what I'm feeling right now. It's worse than how I felt in those memories, though. Way fucking worse.
"No," she whispers, "I don't, Ike's coming tomorrow. Hopefully he will tear Nigh from my head." I'm too angry to care about the fact that she has two personalities, or that Ben's now hiding my knife from me. Wait...
"If you're not gonna go ahead and fucking stab me give me fucking knife back!" I scream at him. He shakes his head.
"I'm not that dumb, Cancer," he mutters, standing up. He shouldn't have done that. He moves away from me, trying to keep the knife away from me. I tug on it with telekinesis, but the rubber on the grip means he has a really good hold on it. Fuck it; I don't need a goddamn knife anyways.
"Oh you are, you really are," I snarl, running at him to quickly for him to have a chance to do all that much. My fist buries itself in his stomach with little encouragement from me and he doubles over, letting go of the knife. I leave it there in the grass, pushing him down to the ground too. Vaguely, I can hear Gemme yelling at me to stop, but hey, it's better I beat up Benny than her, right? Although if she tries to stop me, I can't guarantee that she won't get hurt. I'm really not in the mood.
So anyways, I'm not listening to Gemme, I just keep pounding Benny. He throws a few punches back, realising that if he doesn't fight back like the big fucking pussy he is, he'll probably end up in hospital. Or a graveyard. I don't really care which, right now.
"Luca..." Gemme says warningly and I stand back up, my foot on Benny's neck.
"What?" I snap, ignoring Benny clawing at my leg as I put pressure on his throat.
"Please, I don't want another death on my conscience," she pleads and I just laugh.
"Why would I care about that, hmm? Why should I give a shit about the conscience of a fucking whore?!" I scream at her and my words are echoed in my head as I remember shouting something similar at Emily. As I say the word ‘whore' to Gemme, I lift my foot off Benny's throat and bring it slamming down into his rib cage, smiling at the loud crack as a couple of the bones give way.
"Luca!" She sobs, "I don't like him, I don't love him! Don't... don't!"
"Don't what?" I spit, resting my foot now on the next couple of ribs down from the ones I just broke.
"I don't want you to leave me." Her attention leaves Benny and she focuses on me. I bring my foot up and smash it down again and Benny cries out in pain as another rib breaks.
"Oh, so you fuck off with Benny, tell him you love him, and expect me to stay loyal?" I can't help but laugh again. It's ridiculous. It's so much like what Emily said to me, begging me not to do anything stupid, to give her another chance. I look down at Benny again and spit at him. He winces a little and groans, not moving. "Fucking pathetic!" I yell at him, kicking his broken ribs hard before turning to Gemme.
I walk over to her, still angry, despite what I just did to him. "And here is confusion herself. I'm sick of this. I'm sick of you. I've tried for you. And for what? And for what, Gemme?"
She lifts her head, looking into my eyes, holding contact with them. "This is your life. You choose. I don't deserve you, it's true." She says and I smile.
"Y'know, for so long, I thought it was the other way round, but now I'm beginning to believe it," the urge to hit her is almost overbearing. "One day, I'll stop falling for people that are only gonna fuck me over," I snarl.
"Luca, hit me if you wish. If it makes you feel better just do it. I just hope you don't hurt yourself any more over this, I am so sorry." Tears were welling up in her eyes as I talked, and now, one of them fell free, and I wondered what she's thinking about for a second. A flash of us lying together in the sunset on the beach flickers in her mind and down the connection between us. I hesitate and shake my head, reaching my hand out for my knife. It flies into my grip and I walk away without another word. Behind me, I hear Gemme collapse onto the floor, but I turn back, instead breaking into a run.
She couldn't run away. But I fucking can.
I reach the house and race up the stairs, grabbing my stuff, putting my knife, the drugs, my phone, my clothes, everything in my bag. I'm packed in about two minutes flat and I run back down the stairs, into the garage where Gemme left Jeremy's car.
Throwing my bag onto the passenger seat, I get in and start the car, hardly watching as the town sails away under the tires, away from me. I dunno where I'm going.
All I know is, it's away from here.