I wish he would stop apologising, he should know I forgive him for everything so I shook my head and sighed, holding him tightly in an embrace. “You should know you don’t have to apologise, whatever it is you have done I forgive you.” I smiled as best I could. Yeah, it scared me a little that he could kill someone like that. But he hasn’t lifted a hand to hurt me, well, without just cause and I can’t die. He has done so much for me and this is the only way I can try and repay him.
"How is it forgivable, though?"
"Truly, it has nothing to do with me."
"It does! I put... I put the drugs before you and I shouldn't have..."
"Its fine, Luca, its fine," I sighed, smiling. He stayed silent and I couldn’t help but wonder; "I forgive you, isn't that good enough?"
"Yeah, it is. Thank you," he muttered, letting go of me.
"I have a headache."
"Can't you heal it away... can I heal it away?"
"It's not physical," he mumbled, "I guess I just got used to the quiet in my head."
"I'm so sorry..." I murmured, reaching my hand out to touch him.
“Don't be, I brought it on myself," he shrugged, not slapping my hand away this time
I caressed his cheek softly. "If there is anything, anything at all, I’ll always be here, Luca."
He nodded and smiled weakly, putting one of his hands over mine. He linked our fingers and dropped our hands to our sides. "I wanna go home," he muttered
"The let's go home." I smiled back, kissing his cheek where our hands had been. He nodded and we began walking. I didn’t know what I was going to do, that whole thing with Benny, now this. I don’t know... I whimpered slightly and squeezed Luca’s hand. I don’t know... I want to get everything straight, allow everything to play out and become simple but, I know it wouldn’t.
I wondered, fleetingly, about Jeremy, what happened to his gallery and paintings. I decided I would buy the gallery along with the one opposite the cafe. But for now, Luca was my main priority and I would help him all I could. Which I know, it isn’t that much. When we got home, Ben was still in. I don’t know. Right now I didn’t want to see any of them. I just wanted everything to be sorted out. To find somewhere I could go where the darkness could sort everything out for me. But that wouldn’t be so, would it?
When we got in, Luca gave Ben a weird look before disappearing upstairs. I decided not to follow him; he seemed to need some time to think, so instead I walked into the living room and brought my knees up to my chest, snuggling into the corner of one of the arm chairs. Why won’t it all just go away? Unlike Luca, however, I did not even acknowledge Ben’s existence as he sat in the chair opposite me. Ben got up and stood in the doorway awkwardly, looking like he wanted to say hi or whatever, before giving me a half smile and leaving me to it. I sighed, I guess I wanted to talk, but I wasn’t sure what to say or whether I would like where the conversation would go. So eventually I unfurled myself from my tight ball and managed to mumble a hello to Ben.
"How're you holding up?" He asked quietly, sitting across the room for me.
"I'm, confused. But I'll be fine. What about you?"
"I'm okay, I guess. Feeling a bit bad... I heard what Cancer was yelling on the way out earlier."
"It's hardly your fault, Ben."
*shrug* "I still feel kinda bad about it, though."
"Well, you shouldn't. It's not your fault."
"Yeah, well... I'm gonna book a flight tomorrow. I'll be out of your way in a few days. Hell, I can go back to the apartment in Cameron if I'm gonna make things awkward by staying here."
I shook my head furiously. "No..." I mumbled the protest almost silently.
He shrugged again. "I don't have to book the flights either if you don't want. I just don't wanna make you two falls out again."
"We'll be fine. In fact, things have sorta been healed. He has his memories back at least."
"How did he take that?"
"He denies it ever happened."
"What, even though he has it all back in his head?"
"Yeah, he refuses to believe he's like his dad." He gave an "oh" of understanding and nodded slightly. "I'm almost at my wits end with it all." I laughed weakly, running a hand through my hair. At that, Ben got up and walked over to me, sitting beside me with the slightest hesitant glance towards the staircase, as if he feared Luca would come down, see this and lose it. I rested myself against him, actually finding some comfort from his proximity. "Oh Ben..." I cried, bringing my legs beside me. He put one arm around me, saying nothing. I returned the embrace, wrapping my arms around his waist. I lifted my head cautiously, bringing my lips close to his, I wanted to... but I wasn't sure what Ben would think... I want to...
"Are you sure that's a good idea?" he whispered.
"I want to..." I murmured, knowing I could just trick Luca into thinking he was sat on the opposite side of the room. "He won't see anything... I want to..."
"That wasn't what I meant. What I meant was: are you sure this won't just hurt you more?"
I shook my head, but pulled away anyway. "If you don't want to...”
"You know I want to, Gemme. I just don't wanna make it any harder on you."
"It won't, but I can't convince you otherwise, can I?" He put a finger over my lips gently, cutting me off, and quickly replaced it with his lips.
I smiled softly, deepening the kiss between us; it felt so warm, so nice... so forbidden. Ben smiled too, pulling me a little closer.
I moved my hands down to his waist and broke away. I stared at him into his brown eyes; they were exactly like Luca’s just a little lighter."I want more but..." I mumbled, not able to break eye contact with him.
I pointed upstairs. "He's too close." I whispered, leaning back so he was over me, my hands still on his waist I bit my lip.
A flicker of frustration shone in his eyes for a second as he sat back, letting my hands slide off him. "As much as I want to, I think Luca's probably hurting enough without us doing any more damage, hmm?"
"Damn it, I know, I should go check on him." I sighed, getting up I ran upstairs. Stop making this worse Gemme. But...I was so torn. "Luca, are you okay?"
"I'm... fine. I'm fine," he muttered, glancing up at me, before dropping his gaze back to the end of the bed. He was sitting on his pillow with his knees up against his chest, his face blank.
"I... I don't believe you." I whispered, sitting next to him. "Come on, Luca," I murmured, wrapping an arm around him.
"Why don't you believe me? I'm fine!"
"But you're so blank, you're sat here all alone, Luca, what's wrong."
"I'm like this a lot. In the memories, this is normal," he mumbled, looking at me again.
"But that wasn't you, Luca, you changed! You can change again!"
"Mmm," he nodded slowly. "What were you and Benny talking about? I could hear you... just not what you were saying."
"Oh! We were talking about Jeremy... I was thinking of buying his gallery."
"You already have a gallery space...?"
"Yeah, but if I buy his, with his work in it I get the money for it."
*shrug* "Your choice, I guess."
"But it's not about me, what's up with you?" I asked softly."
"Nothing, I'm fine."
"Luca, please, what's wrong?"
"Nothing, I'm not like my dad. I'm not like that. So I’m fine."
"You're right; you're wonderful, caring and soft. You love me and you wouldn't hurt me, right?"
"No," he murmured, lifting his hands to his head, massaging his temples as if to work out a headache. "No."
"I wouldn't... wouldn't hurt you," he said, his eyes shutting tight as he continued to rub his temples roughly.
I wrapped my arms around him tightly. "Luca, it’ll be okay. Try and forget about it, move on and change."
"Yeah... hey, I remember who 3 doors down are, though. I didn't think I knew so many songs on the guitar..."
"Yeah, I guess that's an upside." He smiled shakily and moved slightly, returning my hug loosely.
"One step forward, two steps back." I laughed weakly, it seemed he could no longer hug me spontaneously, or even hug me back.
"I just have a headache. I'll be fine later. It's not me, I'm not like that. It's like a bad dream I just remembered, that's all..."
"Okay..." I murmured, “Do you want something to eat or... drink?”
"No, I'm okay, thanks."
I nodded, slipping off the bed I disappeared downstairs. "He's fine." I mumbled to Ben, before asking him; "do you want anything?"
"Are there any beers left?"
"Yeah, you want one?"
I passed him the beer and sighed, collapsing on the chair beside him I threw my head back into the chair. "I wish I could drink. Huh."
"It's probably a good thing you can't, to be honest. Drunken people do stupid things."
"So do sober ones." I pointed out.
"Mmm...I S’pose so, yeah."
I took a quick glance at him before looking away, smiling. "Never was as good as Luca." I laughed.
"Huh. How can he be better? I've had way more experience than him," he scowled slightly.
"Humph. He's stronger, faster..." I shrugged... "he must just be a natural." I kept my voice as smooth as possible, fighting back the laughter even though it was true. He laughed it off, though his mind flickered to rectifying the knock to his sexual esteem.
"Yeah, good luck with that." I laughed, "It’s just the way he makes me feel, the hot, pleasurable feeling..." I murmured, teasing him by running my hands over my body I smiled.
"What if I fuck you hard, just as good as him?" He smiled, his eyes following my hands.
"I dunno. You'd have to try." I mumbled, my hand's resting on my trousers between my legs, I watched his eyes as he followed my hands and I laughed.
"Now that's an invitation I can't refuse," he winked, putting his hand over mine, pushing me back slightly as he kissed me forcefully.
I laughed, whispering into his ear. "It wasn't an invitation... but if you want..." I smiled wriggling out from beneath him I smiled, "Luca, I'm going to go look around Jeremy's gallery I'll be back later." I called, opening the front door I listened for a reply.
"Sure it wasn't an invitation," Ben whispered back playfully as we listened for a reply from Luca. *nothing from Luca*
"Hold that thought." I whispered, running to the top of the landing. "Luca?"
"What?" he called from the bathroom."
"Luca, what're you doing?"
"Having a piss," he muttered. There was a pause and there was the sound of him dropping the toilet seat down and the flush. He opened the door a moment later and looked down at me. "Why d'ya ask?"
"Because last time you left a red stain on the floor," I sighed.
"Oh yeah," he muttered uncomfortably.
"Well, I'm heading out, I'll see you later okay? Stay safe." I mumbled, walking back down the stairs again.
"Where're you going this late?" he asked.
"Jeremy's gallery and it's not that late." I checked the clock, okay, it was that late. "In case Jeremy is still there I don't want to be seen."
"Right..." he mumbled, not even bothering to hide his disbelief. He shrugged and turned away, walking back to the bedroom. I sighed, closing the door behind me. I didn't care; I could just wipe his mind of any suspicions when I got home.
"Come on, Ben." I smiled. *Ben follows & takes her hand*
I smiled, taking his hand as well I whispered to him, "So, anywhere in particular?"
"The...park? Why the park?"
"Dunno, seemed like a good idea at the time, but apparently not," he shrugged, "why don't you choose?"
I nodded, "come on." I whispered, pulling him swiftly in the direction of the park. It was always so desolate, but I shrouded us in a vision anyway. He smiled and stopped at a bench, tugging me down beside him. As I sat with him, his lips crashed into me, all reservation gone. I gasped, feeling myself fall back as all breath escaped me and it took a while for me to begin kissing him back. "God, Ben." His hands explored my body, his touch rough, powerful and demanding. "How long have you been waiting for this?" I wondered, my body twitching in response to his touch.
"All fucking day," he murmured, sliding my top up, kissing up my torso as he revealed it.
"Well get on with it then... fuck me." I growled, pulling the top over my head.
"With pleasure," he growled back, pulling down my jeans and pants in one forceful tug. He knelt on the ground before me, putting his tongue out, lapping at my skin furiously and pushing a finger inside me too. I moaned, my muscles contracting as he caught me by surprise, I gasped and moved toward him, grinding against him almost. He slid another finger inside and worked me to the edge, ready to tip me over with just another stroke or two.
"Christ!" I growled as my climax shuddered through me. "Please... take me..." I whispered into his ear as he rose to kiss me. Saying nothing, he pulled his pants down and thrust into me roughly, putting nearly bit of his strength into every movement. He growled as he moved faster, his hands still moving about my body.
I smiled; Luca was definitely stronger but bless him for trying. I wrapped my arms around him, pulling him closer to me then I allowed my hands to drift downward to between his legs, trying to alternate my movements with his. He kissed me hotly as we moved.
I kissed him back, holding me back slightly trying to prolong the sensation, although something in me still wished it was Luca and I knew that part of me was Gemme. He groaned slightly and I knew he was nearing his own finish. I held back, I wanted him to finish first, I willed it so. With another, louder groan, he reached his climax and kissed me with a smile.
I smiled back, kissing him back. "I love you." I whispered.
"Mmm, love you, too."
"Yeah, I do. Not as much as Cancer, probably, but I've always liked you. I just never realised quite how much."
"Me or my body?"
*pause* "Both, really.”
"Yeah..." I nodded, I didn't believe him.
"You don't sound so sure. I guess you don't have to believe me. It'd be easier if you didn't."
"What that you don’t love me back?" I sighed. "Do you have your phone on you?"
"Can I borrow it, please?" *hands it over*
I dialled Ike's number, "Can you come over please?"
"I'm in England."
"What're you doing in England? I need you here. Now."
"Okay... what for?"
"I can't say but it's almost life and death. Please Ike."
"Yeah, sure, I'll be there right away... be there tomorrow."
I hung up, handing the phone over I smiled. "Thank you."
"Life and death?"
"Yeah. It is."
"Nice phone call to have after sex," he rolled his eyes.
"Sorry." I apologised, slipping on my clothes again. "I won't die, don't worry. Ike knows."
"Uh-huh. Feel free to stop confusing me any time you like."
"Ike, is my brother. He has the same power as I and I need his help with something. I'd rather not tell you what."
"But if you don't love me back, it won't matter."
He sighed. "I dunno... I dunno what to think about you. I mean I do like you; a lot. But I know what this would do to Cancer, so..." he trailed off with a shrug.
"Well, enjoy it while you can. It won't last." *nods* I sighed:
"I'm going to kill Nigh."