I'm getting better at this whole ‘I love you thing'. I still hesitate, sure, but that's because it still feels weird to say it. And do you remember how I reacted to just a hug?
I think you'll agree, I've come a long way.
When I wake up, I'm facing the window rather than Gemme's side of the bed. Guess my body got bored of sleeping in one position all night.
"Morning," I say, rolling over to face her, "or afternoon, possibly."
"Hey," she replies.
"Been awake long?" You know how she wakes up before me all the time.
"Not really," she smiles.
"Mmm," I hum with a light smile. And then I remember what happened earlier. "Did you figure out that part of your power then, or did falling out of the tree ruin that?" I ask, hoping that she got somewhere with that before falling out of the tree. Especially after I didn't actually take tht heroin last night. My head hurts.
"Hey! I broke my leg not my mind." She nods, "although I did, yes. I just want to wait a little while longer. Polish it up, is that okay?" I swallow as the noise returns, just as it does every time I'm sober and not distracted enough.
"Yeah, it's fine. I'm gonna have a shower." I mutter, getting up. She mumbles an "okay" as I walk out of the room. I really hope she doesn't take too long to "polish it up". Being sober is supposed to be a good thing, not something that makes you want to stab either someone or yourself.
When I get out of the shower, I pull on a pair of faded, ripped jeans, and that black button down shirt.
"Luca... come here please," Gemme calls as I close the bathroom door. I wander into the bedroom and face her. "Do you trust me?" she asks.
"Are you sure? I mean, completely trust me with everything." I pause to think for a moment. Do I? I nod. "I promise, I won't hurt you." She gulps, placing her cool hands on my head, kissing me slightly before she slowly slips into my mind. I try to keep my eyes open, but it gets harder to the further in she goes. Before long, it begins to ache a bit and I wince as Emily's scream as she fell echoes in my head.
"Please, try to think, control your thoughts. I can help you better if you guide me." The scream becomes muffled, like someone put a pillow over my ears and nicer thoughts force their way into my head. Suddenly it's like a battle inside of my own head - Gemme's nice thoughts and my memories of Emily. I grit my teeth and try not to pull away.
"How am I supposed to guide you?" I ask hoarsely.
"Just... think of her..." she mutters, her probing softening a little as she stays in one place in my head.
"I am thinking of her," I grimace as her blank, glassy eyes stare up at me out of the hospital bed. As soon as the memory rose up, it vanished. The memory of her falling down the stairs followed it into oblivion.
"I'll make this up to you, I promise... any more?" I swallow hard and go through every memory I have of her, every time I remembered who she was when I was with Gemme, spilling them out like water through a crack in the ice on a lake. I'm beginning to forget why I'm here remembering everything I can about Emily. Every memory I can think of is waved away, disappearing into nothingness.
But I can feel Gemme's grip on me loosening and I open my eyes. She doesn't look so good.
"Come on, anymore?" she mutters, her voice urgent.
"You okay?" I ask, pausing, my mind going blank as I distract myself.
"I'm fine... come on, concentrate!" she says and I eye her disbelievingly for a second longer before closing my eyes again and finally throw up the memory of when I first met Emily. That's the last one, I think. I can hardly remember who she is anymore.
And then it's gone.
I don't feel so great now, either. I try to remember why I'm sitting on the end of the bed with Gemme's hands on my head, but I can't remember and thinking about it hurts.
"Feel better?" Gemme gasps, and I look up at her confused.
"I feel kinda ill. You okay?" I mutter, wincing as I start to heal the ache away.
"Yeah I just have a really bad headache and I feel dizzy and..." she stops talking, her eyes closing as she lifts a hand to her forehead, her fingers shaking. Her legs give out and she collapses. I manage to catch her with telekinesis and lower her to the floor gently.
"Gemme?" I murmur, kneeling next to her, brushing her hair out of her face. She doesn't reply. "Gemme, what's wrong with you?" I whisper, trying not to panic. I hold her hand and push healing energy into her, searching for a problem. Her heartbeat is normal, her breathing is fine and as much as I search, I find nothing wrong. Figuring she's tired - though to be honest I don't know why she would be - I lift her and put her back in the bed, putting the covers over her.
"LUCA!" she screams. The sudden screech makes me jump and I flinch.
"Gemme!" I mutter, recovering.
"Christ, what just happened?" she asks. I shrug.
"How am I supposed to know?" I arch an eyebrow, "I get back from the shower, start feeling kinda sick and then you pass out on me!"
"I remember being in your head and then... I must have used too much energy." She smiles weakly at me, but I frown. In my head?
"You weren't in my head, Gemme," I tell her, kinda confused.
"Oh right, yes of course. Sorry, my head is so... jumbled." My eyebrow stays up.
"I think you need to stay in bed today," I mutter. Why does she think she was in my head?
"No, I'm fine," she says. I look at her incredulously for a moment and then shake my head.
"You're being weird. I think you should stay in bed, but it's up to you," I shrug and slide off the bed. "I'm gonna get something to eat. Want something?"
"No, I'm fine," she repeats and looks up at the ceiling. "Thank you," she says as I go to leave. I'd ask her what for, but I'm hungry and my stomach is punishing me for not eating enough.
When I get to the kitchen, I suddenly lose my appetite. There's something in the back of my mind, but when I try to catch it, it slips away. It's making me feel sick again. I'd thought that was hunger, but I'm having my doubts. Trying to think about what happened between me getting from the shower to the bedroom makes me feel ill too...
I don't like it.