I really wanna go back in there. Gemme's right, if it weren't for her power I'd have just ruined everything for her in there. But in my defence, I did warn the guy not to piss me off, but he did it anyways. Gemme's still pissed off and still walking off. I apologised and everything. I even meant it.
Doesn't stop me wanting to go back in there and finish what I started.
‘Cause let's face it. The guy thinks he's more dangerous than me. How can a mortal human with no extra powers be more dangerous than a pissed off junkie with telekinesis and the ability to reach inside of you and explode each and every internal organ if he felt like it? And I really feel like it.
My feet follow Gemme, but my mind stays with Jeremy. I know I can heal remotely. I don't have to touch a person to do anything to them; it just makes it a bit easier if I do. I think about it for a moment, but I don't think Gemme would appreciate it if I did. That and the fact I really wanna just beat the shit out of the guy instead of killing him and not even being in the room.
Maybe I could just make his appendix explode or something instead.
I look up at Gemme, walking a few paces ahead of me and suddenly feel kinda guilty. Not completely. I stand by the fact that he provoked me and my reaction was totally reasonable given that I warned him not to provoke me. I close the space between us, walking up next to her.
"I'm sorry, Gemme." I mean it. I hope she'll pick up on that this time. "I didn't mean to get so pissed off." Actually, I'm not even sure if it was totally that Jeremy pissed me off. I mean, I was nervous. I hate places like this - a goddamn mansion, of all places to take someone like me - and the people inside didn't exactly look at me like they wanted me there. And being nervous makes me irritable.
"It's fine; it's nothing I can't fix," she says, not looking at me.
"C'mon. Let's go back, you can at least say goodbye to people. I'll wait outside?" Who says I'm a total prick anyways?
"No. I want to go home, I've had enough tonight." Good choice, actually. I nod and say nothing. I've already said sorry three times. The walk back to the house is pretty much silent. I'm trying to keep thoughts of hurting Jeremy to a minimum so I don't piss Gemme off, but I'm not sure I succeed.
When we get back, Gemme unlocks the door and walks in, asking me if I want a drink. I shake my head.
"Well, I'm gonna get changed; then probably go to bed," she says as I wander into the living room.
"Oh, okay," I mumble, looking for the ashtray. It finds me and I walk back into the hallway with it, a cigarette between my lips and a lighter in my other hand.
"You coming?" she asks, and I shrug. I'm not tired. That and I was planning on getting high before crawling into my own bed and hoping that by some miracle I die. "Will you be coming up later?"
"When I'm tired, yeah." Not much point in going to bed until I'm tired otherwise, unless I'm gonna get sex. Which after that party disaster, isn't gonna happen.
"I'll be waiting." She says and I hesitate, suddenly realising I‘m not gonna be able to get high if she's expecting me to go sleep in her bed.
"You want me to sleep in your bed?" I ask, hoping I'm wrong. She inclines her head a little.
"Please. This may sound stupid, but I can't sleep alone. It's scary." Yeah, it does sound stupid. Sleeping alone is scary? How?
I just nod, smile and fill my lungs with smoke. She whispers a final thanks before disappearing upstairs.
Well that's great. I screw my cigarette into the ashtray and wander back to the living room trying to make sure nothing smashes into the walls or whatever.
Still wanna beat the shit out of that Jeremy guy.
Eventually, I go up to my room, roll up some heroin in a cigarette paper and smoke it. I know I've already upset Gemme enough this evening, but really, this is more like life as I know it. Go somewhere, hate it, get in a fight, someone gets upset, go home get high. Much closer to my own reality. Gemme knows that our versions of day to day life are completely different. She knows I'm trying.
I just can't do it.
I wanna go home.
Pulling on a pair of joggers before the high hits, go and get into Gemme's bed. But by the time I'm under the covers, I'm too euphoric to care that she's awake still. I simply put an arm around her and curl up in bed, smiling for no reason.