Four words, four simple words, that’s all I wanted. He couldn’t even give me that. I sighed, getting out of the bed. I stood in front of the floor-length mirror and slipped out of my night gown so I stood in just my underwear. I glanced at the scar that had appeared on my chest after they had done the surgery. Great, I just stood absently gazing at my reflection in the mirror. How kind it was for them to give me such a gift. My heart had been on full display for them. Heh, I always wear it on my sleeve anyway; apparently.
I watched in the mirror as Luca rolled over to face me. "That's quite a scar. I can heal it away if you want, though."
"Quite a scar...” I echoed, “It’s horrible, and so on display and eugh!” I shook my head, the last words didn’t quite process and I gazed at the scar in disgust. It ran straight down the middle of my chest.
“I’ll take that as a yes then?” He asked, something didn’t quite get through to me; obviously. So my reply may seem quite dumb, “yes to what?"
"Do you want me to heal it away?" He repeated I wanted my beauty back sure. But he had been healing me for all of yesterday.
"I can't do that. You'll tire yourself out more." I murmured absently, running a finger across its raised surface.
"I'm fine. I won't get tired just from healing a scar."
"Right," I nodded in some sort of agreement. I didn’t care anymore. In fact, I felt all care drain from me. I felt like a shell, an empty shell.
"Well do you want me to or not?"
"Yes if it’s not at your expense." I mumbled. He healed it away in a flash and I still found myself staring at my reflection absently. Four words... just because he pushed his cheating girlfriend down the stairs. I had killed my brother three times and I could still say ‘I love you’, to him. I guess that makes me cold?
I sighed, sitting down on the bed, still looking at my reflection before I collapsed backwards and began staring at the ceiling instead. I just wanted some sort of distraction. Something to take me away from this world; it hurt too much. I got up, picking up my gown again I disappeared into my bedroom. He stayed silent. Good old Luca.
I stripped down so I wasn’t wearing anything and looked at myself in the mirror again. What did he see? What did Benny see? I sighed and heard the shower turn on. This was my chance. I quickly got dressed, headed downstairs and wrote a note for him telling him I was going to get his guitar back. I wanted to go alone. I grabbed a key to the house and left. I took the next train back to our old home and set off on my quest to get back his guitar. Quest, makes me seem like a geek.
I walked along the streets. They felt somewhat homely to me after living in Newberry for a few days. As I past my house I saw Benny. I mean, Ben. I expected something big but instead he smiled and gave a friendly hi as he passed. That was scary. I mean, I... nigh beat him up and he was there, waving a friendly greeting to me. I shook it off and walked to the apartment. The guitar wasn’t there. One of the druggies must have moved it. Or perhaps Rayn, I hoped it was Rayn, that way it wouldn’t have been damaged. I took a step in, looking around. The door was unlocked, not sure what had happened though and I figured Luca must have left it unlocked before he went. I sighed and began looking for his guitar, it was while I was in the lounge I heard a noise. I stopped and froze. “I missed ya, Gemme.” The voice was deep and cold.
I didn’t need to turn round to see who it was. “Ben, what’re you doing here? I passed you going the opposite way.” I explained my voice surprisingly cool.
"I figured you'd come here." He took a step toward me, "I just had to see you again," another step.
"Why?" I didn’t need to ask; in fact I didn’t want to know.
He grinned and took another step, bringing him within arm's reach of me, "because you were a good fuck. That and the fact that you still don't seem to have been brought down quite far enough yet, even if you are hanging out with Cancer." He began to walk behind me, putting out a hand and trailing it around the waistband of my jeans.
"Hmm, you seen Luca's guitar?" I asked coolly, moving away from him slightly; looking around the room as if I was searching.
"Not been looking for it. Maybe you should have a look in the bedroom." What? Did he think I was that stupid?
"I'm not that stupid, Ben." I sighed, shaking my head at his stupidity. "He wouldn't keep it there." I added.
"I know you're not. I was saying it might have been put in there." He smiled, "we don't need a bed, remember?"
"Hmm, nope, Mustn't have been that good, I just can't seem to remember." I smiled; he walked straight into that one.
"Maybe I should refresh your memory, then." He snarled, pushing me down onto the sofa and tearing off my top as I fell.
"Humph, you didn't get any while I was away, so you figured you’d steal it?" I laughed at him as I came crashing down on the fabric. I could have defended myself but there was no point. I was too tired. My powers couldn’t work properly and if you remember from last time; they don’t work during sex.
"Sure I did. My girlfriend had missed me while she was out of town," he laughed too, but it was a vicious laugh.
"Humph. She mustn't have been good either or else you wouldn't be here."
He brought his hand up, slapping me across the face as he unzipped my jeans with the other hand. "What does it have to do with anything whether my girlfriend is a good shag or not? I'm here to bring you down a few pegs."
"Right, well, good luck with that." I growled. His hand struck my face again and he tore my pants off. I simply yawned in response, "God would you hurry up already? I have places I need to be.” He growled and unzipped his own jeans, pushing himself on top of me roughly
I simply yawned again and wriggled out from under him; rolling off the couch and onto the floor. I was getting bored of this. His hand wrapped around my arm and he tugged me back. "Where do you think you're going, bitch?"
"Somewhere that could possibly give me a better thrill than being here," I sighed. He balled up a fist and swung it into my stomach, pushing me to the floor. Crap that hurt.
"Oh God Ben, yeah you're so good you're like a sex God or something. Happy?" I mumbled sarcastically. “Are we done yet?” I sighed, rolling my eyes despite the pain in my stomach.
"Quit yapping," he growled, grabbing a fistful of my hair and forcing me towards his crotch. I kept my mouth firmly closed and shook my head. He growled, shoving it in my face and I shook my head again. He slapped me and held my nose so I was gasping for breath, then he rammed it down my throat; as an almost instant reflex I bit down. He screamed and pulled back and I laughed in triumph; “I don’t like being forced to do things.”
"Noticed," he gasped; I mean that was just a stupid mistake.
"So, learnt your lesson yet?" I growled, finally getting up from the floor. Swearing, he glanced at me and nodded.
I shook my head and bent down to gather my clothes, what was left of them. I then realised I had no top, it was ripped. "Thanks." I muttered.
"Fuck you," he muttered
"Ha, you tried, remember?" growls wordlessly. "Guess you're just not that good." I shrugged, ignoring the fact that my body actually wanted him to succeed. "I'm sure it's still good for your girlfriend." I shrugged, slipping on my trousers without pants as they were ripped too, luckily my bra was still intact as he didn’t bother to take that off. “Well, you gonna go then or what?” I asked whilst continuing my search for Luca's guitar. Damn it, where could it be?
"Now why would I do that? Since Cancer is so incompetent, I ended up moving in here and taking over." He wasn’t incompetent, he actually wanted something better.
"Humph. Then you must know where his guitar is."
"I already told you, ya dumb bitch," Dumb, bitch. Damn it, why did he have to insult me like that... I know what I did but he did try to rape me; son of a --.
"I'm the dumb one? Did you already forget what just happened?" I growled, standing in front of him angrily. I was sick of being called a bitch.
"Just get the fuckin guitar and get out."
"I would if I knew where it was."
"I told you. It’s in the wardrobe, in the bedroom." No, he said in the bedroom; I thought he was just trying to get me into there, seeing the look in his eyes an’ all.
"I'm sorry, Ben." I whispered as I walked into the bedroom.
"Sorry?" Uh... yeah!
"Yeah, I know what you tried to do but I was still a little harsh." I mumbled from the bedroom as I found the guitar at last, Gemini we’re a double edged sword.
"Thanks, for keeping this safe." I smiled, "just one question, do you have a spare top?"
"I was hardly gonna let a bunch of junkies destroy a Martin." Those bloody guitars. I mean, why a Martin is so bloody precious!? He paused and sighed, "Somewhere in the bedroom. Hurry up," he grumbled.
"I'm sorry. I'll have to repay you sometime." I smiled, coming out wearing one of his shirts. He looked at me dubiously and shrugged.
"Why did you really want me so badly anyway?"
"I hate girls acting like they're better than they are. It pisses me off."
"Humph, well perhaps one day hmm?" I winked.
"Huh. If I don't manage it, I'm sure Cancer will." he muttered, yeah, as long as I’m not thrown against the wall again.
"Oh no, I'm only better than you." I grinned.
His lips twitched up a little. "You fell for trailer trash, babe. He's the lowest of the low." First I was a bitch, now a babe. It’s amazing what the word sorry and thanks can do.
"I haven't fallen for him! We're just best friends."
"Sure, sure; friends with benefits," he shook his head as I protested.
"Hey, you'd be just the same. You'd never want anything more than to screw me."
He shrugged. "I'm pretty sure that's all he wants from you, too."
"I don't know anymore." I sighed. "I'm sick of it all. I suppose it was good to see you though, Ben."
"Apart from the bit where I tried to rape you," he laughed wryly, "I'm sorry, by the way. I was in a bad mood."
"My girlfriend called out the wrong name last night. I've been looking for the fucker all day." Ha, I couldn’t help the internal laughter as he spoke; bloody hypocrite.
"Besides the fact you screwed me while your girlfriend was away." Not my fault, I didn’t even know he had one.
"I don't mind that we have an open relationship. It's when she calls the wrong name you know something's wrong," he grumbled.
"Mmm, okay. Well, I suppose I should pay you back for keeping the martin safe." I smiled, kissing him softly for a moment. "I probably won't see you again so it was good knowing you."
"You too," he mumbled uncertainly.
"You don't seem so sure."
"You bit me! It was good up till then."
"You tried to rape me? I'd say I'd kiss it better but y'know." I stuck my tongue out slightly in jest.
"Yeah, and before that, you stood on my balls and let Cancer hit Me." he scowled
“Ben if I can make it up to you I will." I sighed, well; I dunno how far I would go.
"Y'know what, I think we're even. Just... let me know if you finally tame the trailer trash."
"What about this guy you're looking for, what's his name?"
"He lives down on 56 Bloomsdale Crescent"
"Freaky psychic girl," he smiled, "thanks."
"You love me really." I laughed.
"It's not me you should be trying to get a reply to that out of," he muttered, Luca flickering across his mind.
I closed my eyes against the thought and mumbled sadly. "Damn it, I know. But Emily..."
He leant back against the sofa and grimaced. "I know. Listen, I know I've been a dick, but hear me out. Cancer will come around when he's ready. He's been taking drugs since before I met him. Si said he first turned up when he was about twelve or something a few weeks after moving to this town," he paused looking at me seriously, "that was when he threw his life away and turned to drugs. It's a stupid age to get addicted to drugs, but he did and it's going to take a long time for him to get off them again."
"I know, I know." I sighed. "I just don't know what to do anymore."
"Have a lot of patience."
I nodded. "Thanks, you’ve been good to me, you're girlfriend must love you to pieces." I smiled
He laughed. "Sometimes I wonder if I love her more than she loves me, but there you go."
I smiled awkwardly, wondering for a moment what that would be like. Then my face dropped as I wondered how long it would be till I found out. "You deserve more than a trailer trash junkie, but if that's who you fell for, you can't help it I guess. If he's being a prick, smash the Martin, that'll shut him up for a while."
“I bought him that martin though..."
"Yeah I guessed. He'd never have bought it himself. I mean you don't have to smash it to make him shut up, just a suggestion."
"I know you have a girlfriend and all but can I ask a favour?" He raised his brow questioningly and I continued; "can I have a hug please?" He let the small smile flicker across his lips as he hugged me, only then I realised how tall he was. "Thanks" I hugged him back.
"S'alright. Like I said, open relationship. No one's gonna kick up a fuss just for hugging you."
"Mmm, how can you love her and still give yourself, and her away?"
"Her job takes her out of town. We both get frustrated. We figured it'd be easier this way. It is. Until of course she calls out the wrong name..."
"Pay her back, call out mine." I giggled. "Nah, I wouldn't want her to find me then I hurt her."
He laughed and shook his head. "I won't."
I paused and wondered a moment. "If you were mine I wouldn't let you go with others, just saying."
“Each to their own,"
"Hmm, do you think it would work?"
"Me and you; theoretically of course," I added waving my hands in dismissal of any stray thoughts.
He shrugged and smiled. "It'd be easier on you at any rate. I'm not a drug addicted psychopath."
"But now you are a drug baron." I smiled, doing one last thing I wanted to try out I kissed him, passionately and lovingly. Just to see his reaction.
He kissed back warmly and easily, smiling slightly as I pulled back. "I'm just a small time dealer. Someone's gotta keep the junkies from going nuts until someone better comes along."
"Mmm, just a small job on the side," I smiled. "You know, it's nice to be kissed back.” It felt oh so wrong, but so right at the same time.
"He doesn't even kiss you back?"
I shook my head. "Not unless it's gonna lead to something else. I mean, he's started to... awkwardly."
"That was quick. I was expecting it to take months to get even that far, if I'm honest. Y'know I really hope he's nicer to you than he was to Emily."
"You know, recently; he sat with me through hospital, convinced me through my fear. He never left me once." I smiled.
"Doesn't sound like Cancer at all," he laughed, but his face fell quickly. "Has he hit you, though?"
"No." I lied; I couldn’t exactly say how he had pinned me up against the wall. Or the time when he squeezed my heart and nearly gave me a heart attack.
"Now I'm really surprised."
"Hmm, well thank you. Ben."
"It's okay. Oh, and you should probably know this; Cancer gets really possessive, so just be careful, okay?"
"Yeah, I know. See you. Come visit sometime," (gives the address in his head) "That is, if you don’t mind my guard dog, Luca."
“I'll make sure I bring something to protect myself then," he said, raising an eyebrow slightly.
“You said it yourself, he's possessive." I kissed him one last time and whispered in his ear. "You know, I'm quite jealous of your girlfriend."
"Why would that be?" he grinned.
"You're good. There. Congratulations for knocking me off my pedestal."
“Hah, thought you'd never say It." he smiled, "no really. I wasn't expecting that."
"I'm not so cold hearted. Normally, I don't lie either. Just next time; asking me works."
"I'll keep it in mind."
I smiled, now Luca will be wondering where I've gone. I hope to see you later."
"Oh, can you pass a message on for me? Richard says he's really very pissed off and that if Cancer isn't back within the week with his money, he's a dead fucking unicorn. I dunno what the unicorn bit is about, but y'know." he shrugged.
"Oh I forgot to sort that out." I rolled my eyes and tapped my head. "Having a psychic girlfriend has its perks." I laughed, standing in the doorway.
"I can imagine. Well anyways, I'll see you around."
"Yeah,” I sighed, keeping the Martin firmly in my hand as I left, I had no idea what he was thinking. I was just glad I was going back home again. Back to Luca; I boarded the train back to Newberry and smiled, I knew however that I may have had some explaining to do.