Damn it, I want to stay. But I know that if I do, it will screw him up more and it is tearing me up inside and I suddenly feel sick. “Damn it. Gemme, you stop. You drop your bag, you turn round and you run up to him and hug him till he can’t breathe.” Nigh, I know you’re right I just know but I can’t do that to him. I drop my bag anyway, stopping. I look up and take a deep breath. Four minutes till the train comes. Four minutes to convince myself I’m not killing him.
Tic toc Gemme, tic toc. I swallowed, I have seen so much more to him. From the first day I met him to every little moment in between. Three minutes. I want him; I don’t want to tear him apart. “Gemme, suck it up!” Nigh called and I shook my head slightly, turning to face him. I could hear the seconds ticking away in my head. I could hear the minutes pass by. I saw Luca looking as if he was torn between hitting something and crying. Suddenly in my head I heard repeated everything I had said to him, how he would destroy me if he left. Now not only was I doing that to him, but I was going against my own words. Oh God Luca. “Do it.”
I nodded, and ran across the space of the platform; wrapping my arms around him. I have no idea what I was thinking. The train came screeching to a halt beside us and I smiled, “I love you.” I whispered into his ear. Damn it Luca, I do...
He hugged me back tightly and I began to cry. I think it was more from happiness than anything but I couldn’t really stop them. “I thought it was a good moment.” Nigh laughed and I thanked her in my head. But please, just hush for this moment. “Sure.” She murmured and I closed my eyes.
"I'm sorry," Luca whispered, "I'm sorry." He was apologising, why was he apologising?
"Why?" I whispered, my mousey tone returning.
"I couldn't stop you and I almost lost you." Oh Luca, you wouldn’t have lost me. I never would have left you... would I? No, surely not. Well either way now I had him I would not leave him again.
"Then surely that was my fault for even thinking of leaving you..."
"But I should have been able to stop you myself." I’m sorry. You see you spoke, you spoke so dearly and I didn’t listen; for that I am sorry.
"Luca, it wasn't your fault." I nodded, whispering softly still.
“It was! I almost hit you. I went nuts and I don't even know why..." I know. But I didn’t want to say anything. One it would be rude, two I didn’t want to ruin the moment.
"Luca hush." I lifted a finger to his lips. "Shh..." He fell silent, looking up into my eyes. I took away my finger, leaning in to kiss him softly. It was a spur the moment thing I didn't want him to ruin it by apologising. He hugged me tighter and I pulled away, resting my head on his chest as the train pulled away leaving us in silence.
"Guess neither of us is getting on that train after all, huh?" he laughed weakly. I guess not.
"Let's get the next one to Newberry. We'll buy a house for us to live in and get an apartment too; for your business."
"Newberry? I’ve never been there before." This was a good thing, he may not have known but it was.
"All the more reason to go, Come on. Please?"
"I... guess..." he half smiled, "don't like change," he muttered under his breath
"You'll live; you have so far."
"I know, I know. It just unnerves me that’s all."
"I'll be here with you. Luca, I will never think to leave you again." He nodded and smiled, "C'mon." I smiled back holding out my hand for him. "Let's go, whole new beginnings." He took my hand I grinned even more. I love you; I hope one day you’ll say it back.