Luca: arguing internallyMature

The dealer guy, wassis name? Richard, that was it. Richard left, not long after telling me I have two months to pay off a huge debt that Nikki had with him. Y'know I totally understand why I've ended up with the debt, but... it didn't stop me smashing a lot of things when he left. Everything breakable in the kitchen just kinda... fell out of the cupboards. If you can call it that. Okay, it was more like they flew out and smashed into the floor but y'know.

Hungry, I walk across the mess of broken glass to a cupboard, enjoying the crunch of the glass splintering beneath my feet, barely even noticing as it cut into my bare feet. I pull myself up onto the counter and sit there for a moment, wondering what there even is to eat, and how I'm supposed to eat it with the only plate and bowl in pieces on the floor.

Bits of glass are pushed out of my feet as the skin heals and clink to the floor like drops of rain hitting a window. I smile slightly as the pain triggers the release of a chemical in my body that numbs the pain and causes euphoria. I forgot the name for it, but that's what happens. I wish it did it for mental pain, too.

Because Gemme won't get off my mind.

I think back to when we first met, that time after school when I was in the music block and the goons went past and I followed them up to the room Gemme was in. I remember trying really hard not to laugh when I saw those guys acting like dogs. And then my mind flicks to the way Ben was looking at Gemme and how I just know he will take advantage of me upsetting her to do something.

Christ, Gemme, just don't do anything stupid, I think, grimacing at the thought of her letting Ben get in her pants.

"Letting you get to me was something stupid." I hear in my head and my eyes widen as her voice speaks inside my mind.

"Yeah, so learn from your mistakes, eh?" I reply coolly, keeping my mental voice calm, though I really don't feel it. The bits of broken glass on the floor are trembling threateningly.

"He doesn't seem that bad though!"

"Of course he doesn't." I think that might have sounded a bit bitter.

"What are you on about?" Isn't it obvious? I don't say anything for a while, trying to clear my head and stop thinking so much. "Luca. Tell me, what do you mean?"

"Nothing, you have fun now. I'll maybe see you around." I mutter, opening the cupboard behind me in hope of finding something to eat.

"Do not make me bug the hell out of you Luca every day and night. Even when you're sleeping! Luca!" She sounds kinda pissed off... Oh well. There's nothing to eat, so I jump down off the counter and ignore the glass cutting my feet again as I wander back over to my bag. I grab my wallet and pull on my shoes, flicking bits of glass out of my feet again. As I walk out of the apartment block, Gemme talks inside my head again. Ugh.  Get out of my head, for fuck's sake!

"Damn it why do you have to make everything so hard for me?" she complains.

"I don't. You made it hard for yourself by letting me in your life. I warned you but you didn't listen." I replied irritably as I walked.

"And now that I've tried to push you out again I can't. What is so wrong with Ben?" sure you can push me out, Gemme.

"You can push me out if you try hard enough. I'm certainly not going to hang around you anymore, that should make things a little easier. And you'll probably find out soon enough. I'll leave you to it."

"Fine, just don't be angry, upset, think about me or the zodiacs and don't get scared either and I won't be able to hear you." That's a lot of things I'm not allowed to think about. Screw you, Gemme.

"Yeah, like that's gonna happen. Guess you'll just have to put up with it or move out of town." I snap and I know that when I get to the shop, my face is just pure anger. No wonder the cashier woman looks alarmed. I slam a sausage roll thing and some soda down on the checkout and pay for it without looking up, too busy being talked at in my head.

"Fine. Oh and don't do anything with those paintings of you. At least, don't destroy them."

"Can't promise that. You know my temper and how I can't control my telekinesis when I'm pissed off." Really. How did one simple thought end up in a mental argument? I feel like I'm on some weird come down where my brain is talking to itself, except I know it's not ‘cause my last high was that heroin when Gemme was there.

"Oh... okay." She sounds upset now. If the paintings mean so damn much to her why doesn't she come and get them back?

"You know what, if you want them to stay safe, I'll drop them off at yours later. You can do what you want with them, it's not like I go to art galleries to have to see my face on the wall anyways." I say as I sit on the wall outside with a smoke and the shitty sausage roll thing.

"Thank you."

"Whatever. When are you planning on being in? Otherwise Ill just leave them by your back door."

"Probably tonight." Probably? What is she thinking about staying with Ben or something? Urgh. Fine, whatever. I eat the last of the sausage roll, drink the last of the soda and drop the litter on the other side of the wall before getting up. I need to make $100,000 in two months. I should probably get started.

The End

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