I still felt a bit sick even after the shower. The anger was gone, I just felt weird. I was kinda beginning to remember it and I really wished I wasn't. It would be easier to forget about if I couldn't remember it.
Being mouth raped but your drummer is not something I would recommend to say the least.
I don't even wanna think about how far it could have gone if Gemme hadn't walked in... I shudder and do my best to push the thoughts behind the walls in my mind, just hugging Gemme. I still can't seem to shake that childish need for someone to cling to.
"Motherly instinct is one of my specialities," she whispers softly, "I shan't tell." I smile, laughing slightly.
"Thanks," I mutter, "I dunno what to do. I want to get rid of him, but Phil will kick up a fuss if I do... I can't afford for half the band to walk out on me."
"Well, does Phil know? Surely he would think Damien had been an idiot too."
"I dunno. They were all there, but I dunno if they'll remember it. I mean I was off my face, but Phil and Rayn had more than me, so..." I trail off, closing my eyes. I don't want to think anymore.
"Take the drugs off them." I open my eyes again and look at her in disbelief.
"Yeah... I think they might just tear me apart if I did that. I mean, I'm bad, but I don't get the physical cravings like they do."
"Of course, I can only do the mental effects." She sighed, "somehow we just have to stop Damien liking you... does he know about you?"
"Know what about me?"
"Generally you. I mean, he doesn't know about your past. Maybe if you put him off somehow..."
"No, only Rayn knows, and I made him swear to secrecy. To be honest... I think Damien would just see me as misunderstood," I mumble. Ugh, he's too forgiving. Like Gemme, but a guy.
"Yeah... well, for now is there nothing I can do to take your mind of it, if only for a few moments? The towns just a walk away, we could get a drink or..." she trails off.
"Yeah, a drink would be good," I nod, pushing myself up.
"Sure, I'll get them in," she smiles, pushing herself up too.
"Thanks," I say, taking her hand as we walk out through the hotel again.
"Stop thanking me, really," she insists and I don't know what else to say, so I fall silent. She doesn't say anything either and I feel awkward. I want to just forget about it, but it keeps pushing back into my mind.
She takes to this bar, the loud music and neon lights not really doing much to help, but as we sit at the bar and I order Jack Daniels, and Gemme gets water, I guess it's a little easier. But whether that's ‘cause I just expect myself to get pissed or not, I don't know.