I don’t know. I’m so confused about everything. Sure, the fact he takes drugs put me off him a little, but. He’s the only one sticking by me right now. He hesitantly kisses me, but pulls away before I can have any real reaction to it. I smile slightly. I, I don’t know how to react. I want to feel like I did before. The beach, it seemed all too real, but it seemed too far away and for a moment I reached out to grab it. My thoughts were all I had and once again I zoned out.
I was on my own, the world turned black and I heard the sound of crashing waves on a shore. I could taste and smell the salt in the air. Then it began to materialise, I could see the sea, now gently ebbing and flowing. I could see the golden shore, the stars twinkling in the twilight; the shooting star. Then finally two figures appear in front of me. But, even though the stars flickered in and out of existence and the waves crashed onto the sand, they were frozen. Frozen in each other’s arms, they looked so happy. I bent down, picking up a handful of sand, pouring it back onto the shore. It felt so real. Then I heard a distant whisper, as if it was from a land so far away. "What's up?"
Then I heard the same type of voice, but it was louder, much louder, "Gemme?"
It took me a little while, but I finally managed to reply. I finally recognised his voice, "What?"
"I... I dunno."
"What're you reaching for?"
"The beach," I whispered and then suddenly, as I stood on the beach, Luca appeared next to me, a glassy figurine of a Luca but he was there. Lifeless and cold, but he was there next to me.
"Are you remembering it?"
"I don't know... can you see it?"
"No... Can you show me?"
"It's so real... I can smell, I can see, I can touch." I try somehow, I just think. I think that I want Luca to experience this with me and suddenly the glassy Luca beside me comes to life, he puts an arm around me and looks around I jump a little, not expecting the waxwork to move so quickly.
"You can see it?" I asked and we began talking in whispers, although I wasn’t sure why.
I bend down, picking up a handful of sand, just like before. "Here, can you touch it?"
He tries to catch the sand as it falls from my hand again. "Kinda. It's weird."
"What is it? Have I done this before?"
"I don't know..."
"Could it be my power?"
"Yeah. You can cast these vision things. Like when we pulled up at the trucker stop earlier, you hid me while I was in the shower 'cause you knew how I felt about public restrooms."
It didn’t feel like a vision, or a memory. "But this doesn't feel like remembering. This feels new."
"No, this isn't really a memory. I mean the beach and what it looks like is, but you're not remembering what happened. It's more like... one of your visions, really, but inside your own head."
I walked round to the two frozen figures, trying to ignore the fact that they were both naked. Then I looked up to the shooting star, now frozen in time too. I straightened up, "forever, I wanted to be with you forever."
"Yeah. I wasn't so sure back then, but I've changed my mind since. I'm very sure now... if you'll still have me, that is."
I looked at the peaceful look on my face and then I looked to his, his expression mirroring mine. I walked back over to the present Luca. "Forever isn't long enough."
He put his arms around me, "no. You're right."
"You didn't think so at the time. You thought I was stupid."
"I didn't understand what you meant."
"I don't need to explain it now, do I?"
"Oh good," I smiled, reaching to kiss him. But the dream fell away and next the thing I knew I was stood, my arm out reaching for what looked to be Rayn. I looked at Luca confused. Blinking, he smiled and sat forward, reaching around to kiss me and I openly kissed him back.
"I dunno... didn't seem to be much of a vision. It seemed more real."
"It was just a theory. I dunno what it was either."
"What was I like on this... side of my mind?" That was confusing; I knew he would ask what I was on about so I instantly tried to think of how to explain it.
"What side of your mind?"
"I dunno. Here, in this reality. What was I like when I... zoned out."
"Zoned out would be a pretty good description," Rayn laughed, "or stoned." He grinned and I looked at him, shooting him a serious look. He nodded and I asked him again. “You sort of froze, then Luca went too... but when I got up to usher you into the car. You did it. Moving like you were stoned, or zombies or something.”