He took my hand and I wanted to let go. I killed my mother. Apparently it was an accident, how the hell did I accidently do that? I feel warm... really warm... he says he wants to talk, talk about what? I don’t know if I can talk, I have no questions. I just want to find out the rest of my terrible, horrific past. Well, I want to know, I want to know what a cold person I was. But I don’t, because if I was horrible enough to kill my own mother, what else have I done?
“What do you want to talk about?” I ask rather coldly, although my body feels warm, I don’t. I take short, slow steps as we walk.
"Anything, I just didn't want your power to get out of control in the car." Wait, so he’s scared of me? Why shouldn’t he be? I’m a destructive killer with no memory and I can’t die.
"Why not, I started my life killing who I loved, why not continue that way?"
"I don't care if you kill me, Gemme, I'll just come back, but I don't want you to hurt those two. You three are the only people in this world I care about." No, no. You don’t know me! You said you felt love for me and for a moment I did too. But that wasn’t me. That was never me, I’m not Gemme Lyniati. Not his Gemme Lyniati.
"Don't start that again."
"Start what again?"
"I care so much about you, I'll never leave you and I’ll always protect you." I growled mockingly. "Bloody good job you did there!" I shouted, but a part of me just couldn’t let go of his hand.
"I'm not perfect, Gemme! No one's fucking perfect, least of all me!" You’re not perfect... you think you know me, you think you care!?
"And don't I know it!" I snarled... I feel really, really warm now. So I break his touch, throwing down his hand.
He fell silent, I knew he would, nothing to say, nothing helpful to say, ever.
I held my head. It all hurt too much. I was breaking, being torn apart, my own mind working against me.
"Get away from me." I snarled. I no longer felt warm; I was hot, the energy pulsing through me. "Go..."
"Just keep walking, Gemme. Try to walk it off," his voice took a pleading tone. No!
I shook my head, "why!? If I keep walking, I may never turn back!" I shouted I didn't where the rage was coming from but I wanted to direct it all at myself. Right now, I felt like I was ripping apart. Some unknown part of me was upset and unable to let go, but I don’t know who she is!
"I only meant get further away from the car."
"Fine, don’t expect me to come back!" I looked at him, a storm brewing in my eyes, a fire burning in my lungs as I shouted, stomping off.
"What you think I'm gonna let you just walk off on your own like this?" He called, walking after me.
"You don't know me!" If I’m a phoenix, this is my fire and I was sure it was soon to turn these memories to ashes.
"I do fucking know you! It's you that doesn't know me!"
"Stop it, stop it and stop it!" I chanted stopping as I looked at him. I couldn't decide if I was angry, upset or what.
"This, that, everything, I don't know!" I cried. I was just so confused. He wrapped his arms around me and I snarled. Balling my hands into fists I beat his chest. "You don't know me. You can't know me. I can't have done those things that you say!”
He held me fast with one arm while he put his other hand on my forehead. "Listen to what I'm thinking about. Watch the memory I show you." He seemed to control my power as my mind became encased by this memory.
A memory of a beach and a beautiful sunset and we were laid on the golden sand, in each other’s arms. We were however, both naked. An illusion, it must be.
I held my eyes firmly screwed shut. "What is this?" I asked, somewhat accusingly. "More lies to make me feel better?"
"No, I'm not lying!"
"How do I know!?"
"What about this one?" This time another memory surged through my brain, it was another beach, but with white sands and me and Luca was sat in the water with Alice. She asked me to be her mother...
"Stop it, stop it and stop it!" I repeated again.
Another electric memory surged through my head, this one I knew. Cherry Blossoms. "I'm not lying, Gemme."
"Are you happy?" I didn't break the embrace, but I stared defiantly into his eyes. "Are you happy tearing me apart?"
"No," he whispered.
"Then stop it." The anger had simmered away now, turning to pure tears as they streamed down my face. "Please, stop it." I began to shake as I lifted one hand to wipe one of my eyes.
"Sorry," he mumbled. I shook my head, moving my trembling hand to wipe the other eye. "Sorry, I just wanted to show you a couple of our best moments together, but it... it hurt when you called it a lie. I didn't mean to show you the last one, though."
"It's hurting you?" I asked in disbelief, like it was only hurting him. "It looks so wonderful and I can't remember any of it. I don't know any of it. A part of me, wants to hold onto you, never let go and to whisper those three words into your ear but. I don't know who she is. "
"How can it not hurt me? You were the only person that ever made me feel anything. And now you can't even remember."
"And that's not my fault! You said so."
"I know, I know it's not your fault, and I wasn't blaming you or anything. Doesn't stop it hurting."
"I'M SORRY!" I cried; my mind beginning to burn again. "Make it stop!" I pleaded, I knew, somewhere that he was the only one that could just make it stop.